Happy carpenter

The Happiest Job in the World

If you had to guess what’s the happiest job in the world, what would your answer be? Movie star? Wealthy NFL player? Footloose and fancy-free travel writer? We have the science-based answer.Most of us spend more than a third of our waking lives at work, so figuring out how to make that time happy and productive is important. Given that we are in the midst of some of the highest levels of work dissatisfaction and lowest levels of engagement in recorded history, it’s a question we must look at now.While researching this topic, we asked people what they consider the “least happy jobs.” The responses ranged from janitor in a retirement home to tollbooth operator, trash man and doctor for kids with terminal cancer.Which job is right for you?If you’ve seen Mike Rowe’s TV show, Somebody’s Gotta Do It, you know there are a lot of dirty or difficult jobs out there. But the problem with this list of “worst jobs” is that it’s often made by people who do not actually work in those fields; rather, they only envision how miserable they would be if they did.Just like with the research about which country is the happiest, when we attempt to determine the happiest job, we fall into a trap. The research might tell you what would make the average person happy, but not whether you would be happy living there. Most people might be happy in Denmark, but if you hate the cold with a vengeance, then you might be miserable in scientifically one of the happiest countries in the world.A job or a calling?So in our quest to find the happiest job in the world, the question becomes: What job would make you happy? Being a travel writer sounds great, unless your spouse and kids can’t travel with you and you’re away from your loved ones all the time. Playing football for the NFL sounds like a blast, unless you need job security, because the average career lasts three years. And not all movie stars are happy, as we’ve witnessed through the daily dramas unfolding in entertainment news.Therefore, it is all in how you view your job. According to the brilliant researcher Amy Wrzesniewski, Ph.D., associate professor of organizational behavior at Yale University’s School of Management, people view their occupations one of three ways: as a job, career or calling. A job is merely something we endure in order to get a paycheck. A career is work that also gives us prestige or position within society. A calling is work that you view as integral to your identity and meaning in life, an expression of who you are and a feeling of fulfillment in the present.You can be very happy in any of these categories. In fact, Amy’s research shows nearly every profession has a nearly equal number of people who view it as a job, career or calling Therefore, it is not the occupation that determines the meaning or the happiness you feel at work—it’s how you view it. Our research in positive psychology shows that, scientifically,happiness is a choice. At an unconscious or conscious level you can choose how you view your work and the satisfaction you draw from it.If you’re feeling like you don’t have the happiest job in the world, here are three proven ways to turn it into one:1. Ask yourself, "What's the point?"To be motivated at work, consciously identify ways in which your work has meaning. Are you able to connect with people at a deeper level because of what you do? Do you have an opportunity to brighten someone’s day occupation. Many of us romanticize our future desired employment to the detriment of our current happiness. For those of us who are career-oriented, the key to being happy now is investing in the present while continuing to strive for advancement. Instead of dreaming about future successes, be fully present to maximize your experience today.Plan small, actionable steps to work toward your goals. Our research shows the happiest among us are 40 percent more likely to receive a promotion in the next year. Finding ways to make the most of your job, career or calling will not only help you find greater happiness, but investing in your happiness today is worth big dividends in the future.Whether you’re a CEO or a janitor, doing so will help transform your job into the happiest one in the world. through your work interactions? Are you helping improve the world in even a small way? Journaling each day for two minutes about a meaningful experience at work helps your brain not only identify these moments, but also to see a trajectory of meaning at work.2. Remember, you're there for the paycheckMany people work to fund their life, and that brings them happiness. Yet, ultimately, we all work to pay our bills and to have some extra spending money. (Unless we are independently wealthy!) Reconnect with all you can do with your income outside the office. Invest in painting lessons or plane tickets for a vacation or to visit your grandkids. Don’t forget your job transforms your personal life, too.3. Stop dreaming, start doingDon’t get stuck waiting for future happiness. We’ve found this to be the greatest barrier to finding happiness in your current occupation. Many of us romanticize our future desired employment to the detriment of our current happiness. For those of us who are career-oriented, the key to being happy now is investing in the present while continuing to strive for advancement.Instead of dreaming about future successes, be fully present to maximize your experience today. Plan small, actionable steps to work toward your goals. Our research shows the happiest among us are 40 percent more likely to receive a promotion in the next year.Finding ways to make the most of your job, career or calling will not only help you find greater happiness, but investing in your happiness today is worth big dividends in the future. Whether you’re a CEO or a janitor, doing so will help transform your job into the happiest one in the world.
Read More
6 Steps to Transitionn at Work

6 Steps to Transitioning at Work

Sometimes it’s clear that we need to change something at work, but we don’t know how to go about doing it.Other times, we get this nagging feeling that something is not quite right at work, but we can’t put our finger on it. Boredom or restlessness starts to seep in. Maybe we don’t have enough responsibility. Maybe we no longer find our work challenging. Or maybe we feel like we’ve stopped learning.If you’re saying to yourself, “Oh, wow, that sounds like me,” here are some practical steps you can take to successfully make your next transition—and even accelerate it.1. Get specific about the changeConsider John, who goes into his boss’s office and says, “I’m not as jazzed-up as I used to be in my work. I need a change. What advice do you have on what I could change?” Now consider Mike, who goes into his boss’s office and says, “I’ve been thinking that I need a new challenge. I’d like to reach out to Client X, I’d like to put some thought around our technology governance process and I’d like to create a more robust summary client report.”Mike, as compared to John, is giving his boss a lot more material to work with. In the case with John, his boss might think he is just complaining. However, Mike is looking for solutions. Mike lists three specific aspects of his work that he wants to change.2. Figure out your story, then stick to itEach of us has a transition story.Margaret’s story is that she worked in human resources for more than a decade, learned the ropes, and then transitioned to her own executive coaching and consulting business 17 years ago. Margaret’s clients especially appreciate her advice because she has worked in business, and she is constantly bringing the latest research and best practices to her work.Senia’s story is that she started from an analytical background, majoring in math and economics at Harvard University and working at Morgan Stanley as well as co-founding three startups, before transitioning to research in psychology and receiving a Ph.D. in organizational behavior. Senia’s clients especially appreciate that she has a math-based and analytical background, but can also speak to how people work and think in organizations.What is your story? How did you start and how does the transition you want to make now position you even better for the future? In one short paragraph, write about how your past experience combined with the current transition makes you a compelling and valuable asset. Call three friends and tell them your story. Ask them what they think. How clear is your case for making this transition? What could make your story even more compelling for your boss or clients? Ask your listeners for their help in clarifying the relationship of the current transition to the big picture you want to achieve.3. Determine what's in it for your boss (and the company)Let’s go back to our first example with Mike and John. Mike hasn’t made his business case for why he should take on these three additional responsibilities. In coaching hundreds of executives, we’ve found three main motivators that spur managers to help their team members take on new or different work. The first is that the manager truly cares about the employee’s development, and the change is a way for the employee to continually learn and be challenged. You may be lucky enough to be working for a manager like that. However, you may not be. In that case, consider the second motivator: The change is not only good for the employee, but it is also a win for the company. And last, the third: The change makes the manager’s life easier. Be sure to frame your business case to appeal to one or more of these motivators.Now let’s examine how Mike could use Motivator No. 2. Suppose he goes to his boss and says, “I’ve developed a strong relationship with many people at Company X, and I’ve been working closely on the product that they are primarily buying from us. I think it would benefit our company if we knew of their concerns earlier in the process. I would also be glad to reach out to Client X for further business development. Let’s discuss whether this is something that I could transition to.” Might this be more convincing than just saying that he wants to work on the Client X account?4. Become a dabblerProfessor Herminia Ibarra of INSEAD business school has found that people who attempt a cold-turkey change from one profession to another are often disappointed, don’t get very far and then return to the first profession.However, she finds that some of the most successful career changers are those who basically dabble. What does that look like? These are people who remain in their profession but who also engage in volunteer activities, educational events or small tasks at work to begin exploring the new profession they are interested in.How could you dabble as part of your transition? How could you start doing more of the work you want to transition to? Be a dabbler and raise your hand for assignments that are outside the scope of your current position, department or profession.5. Train your replacement or succesorOur client Marie had taken some of the steps previously outlined. She had made her change specific in three concrete bullet points, she had shared her story with some close friends and refined it, she had presented a convincing business case to her boss, and she had started to dabble in her new work. However, she hadn’t thought about how to hand off her current workload and was starting to burn out.One of the biggest obstacles to actually making a smooth transition is identifying your replacement or successor. Make this part of your transition plan. If the tasks that you are transitioning away from are great enough, then identify and train your replacement. This may even require creating a job description of all the things you do if you don’t currently have one.If you are handing off only a few small tasks, document your process or automate it so that you can focus on your new role. Remember, make the transition easy for your boss, too.6. Just do itIt’s easier to think about doing the steps we’ve outlined than actually do them. If you are considering making a change, you have likely already spent some time thinking about it. Now it’s time to go for it. Make it concrete. Put your thinking into action.We have one important caveat: All of us can fall into the perfectionist trap from time to time. “Oh, I won’t have the discussion with my boss until I have made my change concrete, and I need a few weeks to get that right.”We’re going to be blunt: No, you don’t need a couple of weeks to get that right. Your boss could say “No” tomorrow or your boss could say “No” in a few weeks. If this transition is important to you, then you’re better off hearing the “No” earlier. Why? So that you can take other steps.Perhaps you’ll begin looking for another job. Perhaps you’ll start doing the transition with a volunteer organization.It’s time to get going and enjoy the ride.
Read More
Girl Looking at book

Trick Yourself into Getting Started

It’s the new year. You may have recommitted yourself to your goals or set somenew ones. You may have vowed that you want to get more done without working more hours. You may want to feel like each day ends on a high note at work. You may want to feel energized, not drained. We’re going to let you in on somewhat of a productivity secret. It may seem counterintuitive at first, but it works. Before You Start: AssessYourself “Which goal has eluded me? Which goal have I not been able to achieve?” We don’t want you to start with something completely new like training for a marathon when you’ve never run a mile in your life. We want you to assess those things that bother you just enough that you want to change them. For example, you may exercise once a week, but perhaps haven’t been able to convert that into a daily habit yet. Or maybe you accomplish your day-to-day work but haven’t been able to devote enough time to more long-term, strategic projects. We want you to think about one of those goals, something that’s bothersome that you haven’t been able to achieve. Before we let you in on the secret, let’s takeyou to the car wash. Step 1) Start Earning Your “Free Car Wash” “How can I trick myself into believing I started yesterday?” Two researchers wanted to see which of two car wash loyalty cards would be more persuasive. At a professional car wash, the researchers gave out 300 loyalty cards. Half of the loyalty cards had eight spots that needed to be stamped in order to get the ninth free car wash. The other half of the loyalty cards had 10 spots that needed to be stamped to get the eleventh free car wash, but the first two spots on the card had already been stamped. Which loyalty card would get YOU to go to the car wash more often to eventually redeem the free wash? Think about it. Both require only eight visits. Would it make any difference to you? In the study, when customers had to get all eight spots stamped for a free car wash, only 19 percent followed through and redeemed the free car wash. When customers had to get 10 stamps but the first two had already been completed for them, 32 percent redeemed the free car wash. What was going on? When two stamps had already been placed on the 10-spot loyalty card, people felt that they were already in progress, that they had already started working on getting that free car wash. How can you do the same? How can you trick yourself into believing you’ve already started your project? One coaching client we know does just that.She creates her Tina’s Ta-Da! List, just like you probably do. The difference? The first two items on her list are things she has already completed, so she can feel the joy of immediately crossing them off. In fact, another client, Bob, always writes as the first item on his to-do list “make to-do list” and immediately crosses it off. Step 2) DON’T Finish Your Work at the End of the Day “How can I return to a project I’m energized about?” We told you there would be some counterintuitive advice. You might think that to increase your productivity, it would make sense to try to finish projects. Not so fast. There is some thorough research on the effect of interrupting yourself and leaving a project unfinished until you return to it. Consider our client Samantha. Samantha used to stay late at the office to finish her work. At the same time, she found that nearly every morning, she struggled with which project to work on first and was unmotivated and unfocused. Then we told her about research that demonstrates that people better remember those activities that they leave unfinished. Samantha started outlining the work she wanted to accomplish the next morning. What happened? Samantha found that when she returned to her desk the next day, she was full of energy for completing the previous day’s work. In some cases, she had even had a few additional thoughts about her work between going home and returning to the office in the morning. The best part for her though was that she felt more focused in the mornings, and had clear projects to jump back into. Step 3) Make a “Gladly Do” List “How can I make my steps so simple that I actually look forward to my to-do list?” One of our colleagues, Joanne, attempts as much as possible to be in control of her day. A lot of psychology research shows that some of the most engaged workers are those who feel in control of their own work. Joanne breaks down her tasks and projects into items so compact that she actually enjoys the specific actions. In fact, she calls her to-do list the “gladly do” list. How could you break out the steps of a project to the degree that each of those individual steps feels the opposite of overwhelming? How could you break out the steps of a project into “gladly do” actions? After: Reassess and Celebrate Your Progress “How have I been tricking myself into getting more done?” Finally, once you try to trick yourself into starting a project, once you curtail the urge to complete all of your work by the end of each day and once you convert your “to-do” list to a “gladly do” list, make sure to go back and reassess your progress. Sometimes, we make the mistake of assuming that a certain technique works for us. Check in with yourself, and reassess whether these trick-yourself steps have helped you get more done without working more hours. Finally, not all the car washes, finished presentations and to-do lists in the world are going to compensate for the calmness and pride of putting a dent into a project that had been unfinished. We wish you all the best with your project! Get Started Today: 1) TODAY Ask the three most important questions: What can I do if I only have five minutes? What can I do to move this project along by just 1 percent? What’s the smallest step I can take right now for the biggest, most positive impact? 2) EVERY DAY Keep a daily 10-minute appointment with yourself. The best way to break a work project into daily workable chunks: Schedule a 10-minute appointment with yourself on your calendar with a reminder alarm a few minutes beforehand. Use that 10 minutes daily to work on or plan out the project; it may feel unorganized and unclear at first, but keep at it – it takes a while to sort through the initial vagueness of organizing a project. Keep using those 10 minutes (you will get a lot of mileage from having that same appointment with yourself at the same time and in the same place each day); now use those 10 minutes to complete one or two small tasks related to the project each day. 3) EVERY WEEK Track weekly progress: If you are a visual person, hang a calendar in your office and mark off the days when you work on your project. If you love using apps for your lists and productivity, then create a simple way to track your consistency. One of us created a spreadsheet with weeks across the top: “Week of January 6,” “Week of January 13,” etc. Consistency can be as simple as a yes/no question: “Did I exercise today? Yes/no.” Margaret H. Greenberg and Senia Maymin, are organizational consultants and executive coaches. You can find more information at ProfitFromThePositive.com. Their new book is Profit from the Positive: Proven Leadership Strategies to Boost Productivity and Transform Your Business. “Trick Yourself into Getting Started” is one of more than 30 research based tools in their book.
Read More
Author and life coach Martha Beck

Go Straight for the Joy and Follow Your Purpose

In 2004 I was enjoying the highest-paying, most respectable job I had ever worked. Everything from the title on my business card to the location of the building fed my notion of success. Then a Cadillac Escalade sideswiped me on my way home one evening. After an ambulance ride and an MRI, I was told there was a problem with my spine. Over the course of the next few months, I waited to find out if I needed surgery. And everything changed. “If you had asked me a week before that accident if I was happy, I would’ve said yes,” I told life coach Martha Beck over the phone. “I had this dream job, a nice car, and everybody thought I was hot stuff. But a week after the accident, I found myself saying, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m scared to death. I don’t belong at that job. I don’t think I like myself anymore. I’m not following my purpose, and I feel like I’m suffocating something inside of me.’ ” Beck laughed. Not a malicious laugh, but a knowing one. She told me the car accident tore my blinders off so I could see the unhappiness I had been denying in favor of a shiny, socially acceptable image of a successful life. Since then I’ve followed my purpose in a much more meaningful way, writing to help others while pursuing my dream of becoming a (one-day) published novelist. But I asked her, “What about people like me who are still living in a state of denial, who are doing everything right on the outside, but somewhere, deep down, aren’t really happy? People can’t just wait to have a car wreck.” “Oh, sure they can,” Beck said, laughing again. “That’s the thing about planet Earth. It’s just full of car wrecks.” Beyond Mental Models Martha Beck was once called “the best-known life coach in the country,” byUSA Today. She didn’t start with that moniker in mind, but there was a part of her that always knew she was supposed to help others find their purpose. In her bookSteering by Starlight: The Science and Magic of Finding Your Destiny, she recalls writing a mission statement for a scholarship application when she was 16 years old. It read: “My mission in life is to help people bridge the gaps that separate them from their true selves, from one another, and from their destiny.” She took a few detours after earning her sociology doctorate from Harvard, but over the last 25 years, as a columnist forO, The Oprah Magazine, an advocate for indigenous communities in Africa,and author of theNew York Timesbest-sellersFinding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live,Steering by StarlightandFinding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want, she has followed that mission. She says that people come to her all the time after experiencing their own version of a car wreck. “There are three ways to be jolted or moved out of the life that’s not working for you,” Beck says. “One is shock, which would be your car accident or losing your job or whatever it is. The next one is opportunity. Say, you fall in love and you get a chance to marry your soul mate, but it means changing everything. “And the third is growth; you simply wake up one morning and what satisfied you yesterday is starting to feel empty. And as you grow more and more as a being, you fit less and less into a life that isn’t right for you. You’ll outgrow it like your baby clothes, and then you have a choice to either try to contort yourself back into it or to leave.” Beck says this kind of growth spurt happens to a lot of people at midlife. Prior to the growth—or the car accident or the life-changing relationship—we become fixated on what she calls “mental models” of what we’re supposed to be. We get these mental models from our families, friends, institutions like universities, and society. “The nice thing about this point in history,” she says, “is that it really has boiled down to compass versus culture. Your inner compass is now more important than ever because the culture that tells us what we’re supposed to be is fragmenting.” Beck believes the jobs that once gave us prestige and opportunities to rise through a hierarchy are much rarer, thanks to a culture that is placing increasing value on flexibility and self-expression. “It gives you an opportunity to stop following the culture and start following your inner compass,” she says. “The car crash did that to you, but for a lot of people it’s just a dissolution of other things in the social universe. Industry, jobs, even families are less cohesive than they used to be. And all those are sort of little car wrecks for the mind.”Following Your Feelings Whether the life around us begins to fit too snugly or we have a sudden moment of clarity, the question becomes: How do we listen to our inner compass? “The mechanism by which you find your purpose is born into you, and it expresses itself through emotion,” Beck says. “So what brings you positive, joyful and liberating sensations emotionally—and physically, actually—that’s going to be closer to your purpose. And anything that makes you feel shut down, constricted, weighed down, physically weak—that’s going to be a step away from your purpose. And life is just a game of, you’re getting warmer, you’re getting colder. If you take a step with every decision toward what makes you feel most free, you’ll end up at your purpose very quickly.” Unfortunately, that sounds simple, but it isn’t always easy. To start, Beck suggests we spend more time in silence, which allows us “to find a sense of peace and equilibrium within” and results in a keener awareness of our inner compass. Fifteen minutes in the morning and at night—whether meditating or walking quietly—is sufficient. The goal is to get in touch with whatever is making our current situation feel too constricting or just plain wrong. Because, she says, the incentive to move and make real change has to come from within. The more attention we pay to our inner compass, the more dramatic the directives will become. Or as Beck says, “The truth of your purpose will start to spin itself out inside you.” Beating the Bear Sometimes, even taking the time to look within can be scary. And ultimately, doing something, as she says, “that feels really delicious,” and making a decision to change our life in a way that fulfills our purpose, arouses a good deal of fear. “Fear actually is not an emotion to which you should pay a lot of attention,” Beck says. “Fear is an automatic response of a very basic part of the brain, and in most people it’s highly active, even when we’re sitting in a completely peaceful spot. We scare ourselves with stories like, ‘I’ll never be able to make it in this rarefied field.’ ‘I can’t quit a steady job; it’s irresponsible for me to give up this paycheck and healthbenefits.’ ” Then Beck quotes Buddha: “Just as we can know the ocean because it always tastes of salt, we can recognize enlightenment because it always tastes of freedom.” She relates this idea to the effort we make at discovering our purpose and then finding the courage to see it through. “The question is not, ‘Am I afraid to do this?’ ” she says. “The question is, ‘Does the thought of doing this bring me more freedom?’ Freedom is often frightening. But it’s not suffocating and soul-killing.” The good news, she says, is that neuroscientists now know that it’s the edge between what is possible and what is almost too difficult to master where we actually create the most dopamine, a brain chemical responsible for a feeling of pleasure, bliss and what psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow. Csikszentmihalyi spent decades researching the positive aspects of human experience and summarizes what he found in his bookFlow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He says people are happiest when they are in a state of flow, which entails concentration to the point of complete absorption in an activity. This only happens when we’re doing something that is almost too hard for us, like rock climbing or mastering a run on the piano. The accompanying feelings, such as fulfillment, engagement and motivation, supersede our usual concerns like hunger, worry and regret. “We call it joy when we come out of it,” Beck says of the flow phenomenon. She uses the example of playing golf: “As strange as it seems, the brain has to be so quiet to do a perfect golf swing, to get everything connected the right way. It’s right at the edge of too hard.” And ask any golfer—it’s addictive. If we’re happiest and most satisfied when we’re pushing ourselves, and then we have to ignore the fear that tells us if we go beyond our comfort zone, disaster will strike. If we’re to succeed in taking a risk and pursuing our purpose, we have to realize that fear is not a red light, but rather a consistent companion we must learn to manage. “If there is a bear in the room, fear is useful,” Beck says. “If all that’s in the room scaring you is the thought,There’s no way I could make money by becoming a musician, that’s not a useful fear. It creates a sense of entrapment rather than freedom. So you measure things not by whether they’re scary or not, but by whether they’re liberating or not.” Creating New Models OK, but what about a paycheck? Most of us balk at the idea of chucking it all in favor of a life pursuing our purpose if we may or may not be able to pay the bills, especially if we have a spouse or a family who needs things like Internet access and running water. In fact, some of us may have known for a long time—years—what our purpose truly is. But we haven’t been able to fit it into those traditional mental models we inherited. Think of those voices that say, “Being an actor isn’t a real job.” Or “Running a nonprofit won’t pay the bills.” Besides, some of us may discover that our dissatisfaction lies with our relationships or our creative expression outside of a career path. Again, here’s the good news. First of all, remember that you may not need to quit your job to follow your purpose. For example, starting a nonprofit may not be the best choice for someone with no business experience. Instead, maybe you’ll find fulfillment in volunteering and becoming an integral part of someone else’s organization. And if your dissatisfaction lies in unsupportive relationships—family or friends who discourage you from spending the time you need on a particular pursuit—you have some choice in that as well. After all, you set your own boundaries and expectations for how others treat you. Work at compromise with others but don’t compromise your soul’s desire. To those of us who need to make a profound career shift, Beck says, “This is the best time ever to strike out on your own and create income in new ways. There are ways that creativity is wanted now that couldn’t possibly have generated income in the past.” She points to Daniel Pink’s bookA Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future. In it, Pink writes: “The last few decades have belonged to a certain kind of person with a certain kind of mind—computer programmers who could crank code, lawyers who could craft contracts, MBAs who could crunch numbers. But the keys to the kingdom are changing hands. The future belongs to a very different kind of person with a very different kind of mind—creators and empathizers, pattern recognizers, and meaning makers. These people—artists, inventors, designers, storytellers, caregivers, consolers, big-picture thinkers—will now reap society’s richest rewards and share its greatest joys.” Beck says the whole concept of a job in the 20th century was based on factory labor, where you show up and put in a certain number of hours in the same place with other workers. Today she believes technology is making that largely unnecessary, so those types of jobs are disappearing. “And these weird opportunities to make money doing creative things are starting to open up,” she says, and then corrects herself. “They’re not starting to open up—they’re avalanching.” For example, when Beck’s daughter graduated from college and was going to move on to graduate school, she asked her daughter how she felt about the decision. Her daughter replied, “Well, the only frustrating thing is that it’s so hard to find time to draw, and actually that’s how I’ve been making money recently.” Turns out, Beck’s daughter had been illustrating a very successful webcomic. From that project, she got referrals and commissions to the extent that she was making so much money at it, she wondered why she was going to graduate school at all. Selling illustrations from a webcomic may not sound like a career when we compare it with our current mental models, but it is, in fact, a viable way to make a living doing what you love. “Who cares if it doesn’t exist as an official career?” Beck asks. “Let’s make new models.” While that may seem well and good for a young woman fresh out of college, it can be tougher for people who are more established in life to follow that deep calling and make drastic changes that alter our career paths. Beck says Seth Godin “does a brilliant job of figuring out how to monetize creative endeavors and how to use the new technologies to set you free to do what you love and still make a good living.” InLinchpin: Are You Indispensable?, Godin writes, “The problem is that our culture has engaged in a Faustian bargain, in which we trade our genius and artistry for apparent stability.” And while he agrees you don’t have to necessarily quit your job to do it, he suggests that, “It’s time to stop complying with the system and draw your own map.”Going for the Joy Beck was 25 years old when she had her own version of a car wreck and was forced to draw a new map. Over the phone, she relives her moment of clarity with me, recalling the incident that inspired her 1999 book,Expecting Adam. “I was almost six months pregnant,” she says. “All my adult life I had been at Harvard and really thought that the purpose of my life was to climb this hierarchy created by my culture, which in my case was education. But, you know, I hoped it would lead to moneymaking and power, wealth and status. “My child was already very real to me, very bonded. I’d been feeling him kick for months. It was not early in the pregnancy. Then he was diagnosed with Down syndrome.” The people who had been her mentors, her teachers and leaders, told her she shouldn’t have the baby. “I was told that his life was worthless and meaningless and really shouldn’t happen. And the people who told me that meant well, but suddenly I began to wonder,What is the purpose of a human life? What makes it OK to bring a human life into the world?And I realized that a lot of the people who were telling me that this baby could never be happy, were not happy. “I didn’t know anyone with Down syndrome, but I had heard they could be happy people. And well, in that case, what is the justification for being? I decided the experience of joy is its own excuse for being. And that if I could have none of that in my life, it wouldn’t be worth living. And that if my son could have a tremendous amount of joy in his life, then it was worth living even if he never went to Harvard. So I did not terminate the pregnancy, and I have had this little Zen master ever since. “Go straight for the joy,” she says. Beck says what we really want isn’t stuff. It’s the emotion we associate with the stuff. This was revolutionary to me—the idea that when we want a nice car, what we are really after is the exhilaration we feel when driving a powerful engine at high speeds or the pleasure we get from fine craftsmanship or the improved self-image from being seen in a nice car. Unfortunately, the possessions, jobs and relationships we go after don’t always give us the emotions we think they will yield. “So go straight for the joy,” she says. “Eliminate themiddleman.” Beck changed her path once Adam was born. She started studying how other people were creating fulfillment in their lives. Today, as a mother of three, she suggests that finding joy involves mindfulness, which is similar to Csikszentmihalyi’s notion of flow. Harvard psychology professor Ellen Langer defines mindfulness as the process of actively noticing new things, letting go of preconceived ideas and acting on our new observations. Mindlessly pursuing the safe things in life—the routine, the expected career path—may seem like a sure way to security and happiness.But when we live mindfully, noticing and following our good feelings, we discover what makes us truly happy. We discover our purpose. While that may temporarily translate into difficulty and fear, we have the choice to approach these not as obstacles, but as the paths that lead to joy. We have a choice to either try to contort ourselves back into a life that no longer fits us or to get quiet, listen and act on what we hear. Finding our purpose is about finding the willingness to listen to our truest selves and then ignoring the fear. Unless, of course, there’s a bear in the room. Minding Your Purpose Martha Beck recommends employing mindfulness to discover what you truly feel about various aspects of your life and, hopefully, to point you in the direction of your purpose. Remember a time you had to do something that was not joyful for you. It could be related to work, school, relationships, whatever, just something you didn’t like. Now recall the memory of it and notice how your body feels. Then go to a memory of something that made you deeply contented. Remember that vividly. Notice how your body feels. One sensation in your body points toward your purpose—the good feeling. And the other points toward what you’re meant toavoid. Now write a list of things you have to do this week. Go down the list and imagine doing each thing. Notice how your bodyresponds. Score each item on your list. The most negative physical response gets a -10. The most positive gets a +10. Score it as zero if it’s neutral. For example, something slightly negative, like doing the laundry, might be -2. Survey your scores. Are you feeding the good feelings or focusing on thenegative? If you really want to up the ante, Beck suggests cutting out one thing you were going to do that gives you a negative reading and adding one that gives you a higher reading. She says if you keep making that replacement over time, you will create the optimal life.
Read More