Practice | Live Happy

Top 10 Most Charitable States

This is the time of year when we are reminded to be thankful for thegood things in our lives, and to try to help those lessfortunate. Research shows thataltruistic people are not only morelikely to actively engage in theircommunities, but generally havea higher state of wellbeing.Utah gives backAccording to a recentnationwide Gallup poll,the good people of Utahare leading the chargein charitable acts, with nearly half ofall Utahns polled saying they havedonated money and volunteered tohelp a charity within the last month.America gives backAnd while Americans across the boardare more likely to donate money to anorganization than time, we still get agold star when it comes to giving back to our communities when compared to therest of the world.You can give back, tooHappiness and kindness go hand inhand, so give a little extra this holidayseason, and feed your soul.

Giving

30 Days of Gratitude

1. “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” ―Maya Angelou 2. Deliver hot meals to the hungry. 3. Listen to “The Thanksgiving Song” by Adam Sandler. 4. Read 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik. 5. Watch It’s a Wonderful Life. 6. "Having gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." —William Arthur Ward 7. Give to a Salvation Army Angel Tree. 8. Listen to “Thankful” by Kelly Clarkson. 9. Read Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert A. Emmons. 10. Watch Forrest Gump. 11. “I feel a very unusual sensation—if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.” —Benjamin Disraeli 12. Donate a turkey. 13. Listen to “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. 14. Read and write in Even Happier: A Gratitude Journal for Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar. 15. Watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. 16. “When you are grateful—when you can see what you have—you unlock blessings to flow in your life.” —Suze Orman 17. Handwrite a note to someone expressing thanks for being in your life. 18. Listen to “Thank You” by Dido. 19. Read What Makes You Grateful?: Voices From Around The World by Anne Kubitsky. 20. Watch It Could Happen to You. 21. “Thank you, emails that say, ‘You have successfully unsubscribed from these emails,’ for completely missing the point.” —Jimmy Fallon 22. Set out a jar and have everyone in your home write one thing they’re grateful for every morning. Review them together at the end of the day. 23. Listen to “Gratitude” by Earth, Wind & Fire. 24. Read My Gratitude Soup: Create Your Own by Olivia Rosewood. 25. Watch A Christmas Carol. 26. “At the age of 18, I made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life. I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I've never emerged.” —Patch Adams 27. Learn how to say “thank you” in multiple languages. 28. Listen to “It’s a Great Day to Be Alive” by Travis Tritt. 29. Read Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? by Dr. Seuss. 30. Buy a beautiful gift book about happiness for a friend or family member.

What can Cubs fans teach us about happiness?

Practice

Winning Isn’t Everything

More than a century has passed since the MLB’s Chicago Cubs won their last World Series, and you would think Wrigleyville would be a barren ghost town. But it’s not, and despite coming up short season after season, Cubs fans still show up for Opening Day, filing into their sainted cathedral of all things baseball with the hopes and dreams that their beloved team will make it into October… or at the very least, a series sweep. George Ellis, a lifelong Cubs fan and managing editor for The Heckler, a satirical sports newspaper, wrote The Cubs Fan’s Guide to Happiness as a way for fans to cope with the disappointment of losing. “The Cubs don’t really win that often,” George says. “If Cubs fans can stay happy, basically in the face of might be a lesson there: We somehow stay optimistic despite the fact history hasn’t given us a reason to be.” It is tough being a lifelong Cubs fan, but the “Loveable Losers” will always bleed blue. They remain hopeful for the future, bounce back after defeat (a lot of defeat) and have a good time doing it. Spend one day at Wrigley Field, and you feel the optimism. That’s why George believes his and his fellow Cubs fans’ unique perspective can teach the rest of us a lot about happiness. “Win or lose, we're in heaven” There are other things to be happy about: watching baseball in one of the remaining original and historic ballparks; you never know who will show up to sing the seventh-inning stretch (hey, maybe it’s Bill Murray or Billy Corgan or Will Ferrell channeling Harry Caray); Chicago-style Vienna Beef hot dogs; and beer. No matter what happens on the field, there is still plenty to be happy about in life. If they happen to raise the “W” flag that day, that’s just icing on the cake. Above all, George says, “you gotta have fun.” “There's always next year” As Wrigley Field celebrates its centennial this year, the only thing older than the ballpark is the home team’s championship title drought, but even that doesn’t stop these fans from showing up. Cubs fans have a philosophy for when things don’t seem to be working out: “There’s always next year.” They don’t let the previous season stand in their way of hoping to see their home team hoist the Commissioner’s Trophy in the next Fall Classic. “We’re always looking for reasons to get over that hump,” George says. Whether it’s signing great players throughout the years, new ownership or a developing farm system, Cubs fans are always hopeful for what the future could bring. “Maybe this time it’s Rizzo and Samardzija…if he’s not traded,” he adds. In a not-so-shocking turn of events, pitcher Jeff Samardzija was traded to theOakland A’s on July 5. “Let's get some runs!” The fact that the Cubs still have a fan base is a testament to their resilience. After the collapse of the 2003 season, when the Cubs were only five outs away from going to the World Series and breaking the Curse of the Billy Goat, fans were devastated. “It was the saddest city I have ever seen,” George recalls. “But in a couple of weeks we were talking about how next year’s going to be ‘the year.’ We were so close. We have [Kerry] Wood and [Mark] Prior. They both can’t possibly get hurt.” The following season, the two star pitchers, dubbed the “Chicago Heat,” did, in fact, suffer injuries. And despite the strong season, the Cubs missed the playoffs. But streaks and curses can’t last forever, right? “If you stay loyal long enough, when it does actually happen, it will be the best payoff in the history of sports,” George says. “Eamuscatuli!” (“Let's go cubs!”) Fans of the Cubbies share something very unique in sports: Most, if not all, of them were not alive the last time the North Siders won a World Series. That’s an impressive feat no matter which side of the city you claim. “There’s something fun in banding together, and just because it hasn’t gone our way, I think there’s a bonding experience when a group of people are fighting for the same thing,” George says. Thanks to superstation WGN, even the fans who move away from Chicago can still watch games and keep their Cubs connection. When the day does happen and the Cubs make it to baseball’s Promised Land, fans like George will be able to truly witness something amazing together. The friendly confines of Wrigley Field Most Cubs games at Wrigley Field take place during the day, so more often than not, the Cubs fan will have to take the day off from work or school to attend.But that’s OK, because a day in “The Friendly Confines” with good friends, njoying the great game of baseball and creating positive memories that will last a lifetime make playing hooky worth it—just try not to catch any home run balls on camera. “One moment you’re in the middle of a bustling Chicago neighborhood, and the next moment, you’re inside a stadium that has been around for 100 years,” George explains. “Say what you want about the ballpark needing some work, but the scoreboard, ivy and Old World feel of the place just make it special.” Life is hard sometimes, and there are plenty of reasons to jump off the happy wagon, but where’s the fun in that? Cubs fans prove that there are things in life worth being optimistic about and the beer cup is half-full. Since there’s no crying in baseball, when life starts shelling you with grand slams, do what every self-respecting Cubs fan would do: Just throw it back.

Reading

Top 10 Books About Happiness

When you're a kid, you didn’t have to think about happiness. You wake up happy. You play and giggled, and live in the moment. As adults with stressful lives, it’s a challenge to maintain good spirits, let alone that kind of carefree happiness. But that doesn't stop us from trying.Lately there has been an explosion of books that aim to help us find happiness—everything from collections of quotes with bright yellow covers to serious tomes written by psychology professors. In-between are plenty of straight-up self-help guides, and a few Buddhist-tinged titles as well.Some of the books we chose for this list are more focused on finding success, while others take a spiritual approach. But they have one thing in common: They take happiness seriously.10% Happierby Dan HarrisSynposis: Meditation can help you focus on the present moment rather than worry about the future. Improve your health, sharpen your focus and enjoy a sense of inner calm. Start by sitting quietly for five minutes and just focus on your breathing. Find out more.The Art of Happinessby the Dalai LamaSynopsis:When life gets complicated, take a step back and remind yourself of your overall purpose or goal. Reflect on what will truly bring you happiness and then reset your priorities accordingly; this can give you a fresh perspective on what direction to take.Authentic Happinessby Martin E.P.SeligmanSynopsis:What is the good life? It’s actually a simple path. A pleasant life might be champagne and a sports car, but the good life is using your signature strengths every day to produce authentic happiness and abundant gratification.Written by the founder of the positive psychology movement.The Four Agreementsby Don Miguel RuizSynopsis: 1. Be impeccable with your word and speak with integrity. 2. Don’t take anything personally and realize people say and do things because of their own reality. 3. Don’t make assumptions and communicate clearly with others. 4. Always do your best. There, now you don't even have to read the book.The Happiness Advantageby ShawnAchorSynopsis:Insights gained from Harvard studies on happiness include: Habits are like financial capital. Forming one today is an investment that will automatically give out returns for years to come.The Happiness Projectby Gretchen RubinSynopsis: Are you focused on the things that really matter to you? Set measurable goals in an area of your life you want to improve (marriage, parenting, work, self-fulfillment) and build on those goals cumulatively with specific action steps. For example, increase your energy by going to bed early, getting organized and exercising more.The Gifts of ImperfectionbyBreneBrownSynopsis:Give up perfection. Take risks and put your true self out into the world. Use courage, compassion and connection to live a fuller life. Each day think, “I am enough.”The Magic of Thinking Bigby David J. SchwartzSynopsis: Believe it can be done and you will succeed. When you really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing in a solution paves the way to making that solution a reality.The Slight Edgeby Jeff OlsonSynopsis: It’s great to have dreams and aspirations, says Live Happy founder Jeff Olson. But it’s the small things we do in the moment that have a cumulative, compounding effect. You can achieve anything you want, but the only way to make it happen is not through quantum leaps, but by doing the little things over and over every single day. Find out more.Stumbling on Happinessby Daniel GilbertSynopsis:We aren’t very good at predicting what will make us happy, says Harvard professor Gilbert. Challenge what your imagination dreams up for the future. Strike a balance between feeling good enough to cope with a situation but bad enough to do something about it. Use your emotions as a compass to tell you what to do.

Practice

A Day of Rest

In the Jewish tradition, the 24-hour period from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday is known as Shabbat, or the Sabbath—the holiest part of the week. During that time, observant Jews do not use electricity, take photographs, drive a car or do many other things, as mandated in the Torah. On Friday nights, families eat a special dinner together, light candles, say prayers and eat challah bread to celebrate this time of rest and reflection.But you don't need to be Jewish—or religious at all—to find the benefit of incorporating a “day of rest” into your own busy life, or to be inspired by some of these ancient traditions.Taking a time-out from technologyRebecca Reice, a rabbi-educator at the Reform Jewish Congregation Beth Torah in Overland Park, Kansas, was worried that taking a day off from answering work emails and doing housework can seem impossible and even counterproductive in our hyper-busy world. Reice wanted her congregation to try it, but wasn’t sure they were ready to give up their modern conveniences, so she challenged herself to try unplugging first. "Years ago, I came to the realization that I am a time-obsessed person,” she says. “I’m always checking my watch or phone, checking my calendar to stay on track and pack everything into overfilled days." By taking off her watch on Friday evenings and living in the moment instead of worrying about what she needed to do next, Rebecca found deeper connections with her friends and community. Her congregants then picked up the challenge themselves.Shabbat, minus the religion partRebecca isn’t the only one reconfiguring what the idea of Shabbat means outside of religious practice. Marilyn Paul, author of the self-help/personal-organizing bookIt's Hard to Make a Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys, is currently working on a book about how Jews and non-Jews alike can incorporate rest, relaxation and renewal into their weekly routines.According to Paul, many people find that, as much as they would like to embrace the concept of Shabbat, they find it incompatible with modern working life. For some, it takes something serious, such as a major illness or injury, to force them to rethink their true priorities and how they spend their time.Paul suggests people stop looking at Shabbat as a list of things you can’t do and see Shabbat as a list of things you can, such as read a book, take a nap and spend meaningful time with your family.“Think through what is actually restful and nourishing and renewing for you,” she says. “One question is, what really satisfies you? Ask what would really feed your soul and feel great. Renewing and de-stressing are a practice.”Take time to rest and reconnectHer sentiment is echoed by Rabbi Jessica Minnen, the director of content and training for StartUp Shabbat, a New York-based initiative that encourages people to think about Shabbat as an opportunity for increased mindfulness.“It is a day to break from the work you usually do, but it is also a day to do things you don't usually get to,” she points out. “Read a novel. Bake a cake. Play outside. Sleep!”Says Jessica, “Think of Shabbat as a day of recharging. For me, that might mean yoga class or group meditation. For you, that might mean Friday night dinner with friends or a concert in the park with your family.”This weekly downtime can also be a time to think about the less fortunate, realize how grateful you are for the people around you, and think of ways to give back.According to Minnen, when you have a day of mindfulness, “Time becomes more valuable, you feel more present in the space you occupy, your spiritual life develops and your relationships grow.”Lilit Marcus is a New York City-based writer and tea addict. Her first book,Save the Assistants: A Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the Workplace, was published by Hyperion. You can also look for her work in theWall Street Journal,Teen Vogue, and Elle.com. Her sister says she dresses like a librarian.@lilitmarcus

Reading

Library—Go Put Your Strengths to Work

Imagine if you could return to how youfelt as a child, trusting your strengthsand choosing to do what invigorates.Back then, I bet you didn’t give athought to working on your weaknesses.In Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance,Marcus Buckingham helps you find your way back to using your strengths.Forget trying to be well-rounded.Walk away from activities that drainyou, bore you or have little success.Instead, lean your life toward yourstrengths and identify your talents,skills and knowledge.With worksheetsand specific steps, you’ll hone in onthose activities where you naturally stayfocused and feel your best.Sure, you may have areas where youneed to get better, but as Marcus says,“You will learn the most, grow the mostand develop the most in your areas ofgreatest strength.”

Reading

Library—10% Happier

Ten years ago, Dan Harris was filling in as an anchor on Good Morning Americawhen he had a panic attack in front ofmillions. In his new book, he details hisjourney from his most embarrassingmoment to finding a remedy to quiethis mind.The result? Dan became areluctant convert to meditation.While not a miracle cure, meditationcan help wrestle your mind to the groundand quiet your inner voice that has youruminating on the past or projecting into the future, he writes. The practice hascountless benefits, from better healthto increased focus and a deeper senseof calm.Try meditation for five minutes a day as a start,Dan suggests. Sit comfortably. Focus onyour breath. Every time your mind gets lost in thought (and it will), gently returnto your breathing. “Everyone has five minutes, no matter how busy you are.It won’t be easy, but neither is going tothe gym.”10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works--A True Story

Philanthropy

Recipe for Compassion

In 2012, when a journalistinterviewed Paula Wolfert about her latest cookbook, The Food of Morocco, she had forgotten thebeginning of his question by the time he reached the end of it. Paula improvised. “That’s a brilliant question,”she told the reporter. “But let metalk about the magic of tagines.”Mediterranean mavenRecounting the story to a group ofabout 200 chefs and foodies gatheredin a downtown Los Angeles parkinglot that has been turned into a pop-upMediterranean restaurant, Paula laughsas she says, “I can talk about tagines forever.” Everyone chuckles, but theyknow the author of nine acclaimedcookbooks—and a five-time winner ofthe James Beard Foundation Award—issharing more than just amusing talesfrom a book tour.After that exchangewith the reporter, Paula saw her doctorand had a series of tests, includingan MRI, that led to a devastatingdiagnosis. Her memory lapses weren’tjust “senior moments”—she hadBenson’s syndrome, a variant ofAlzheimer’s disease.Friends step in to helpThe event, organized by Paula’sgood friends, chefs Susan Park andhusband Farid Zadi, hosted more thana dozen top L.A. chefs preparing theirfavorite Paula-inspired dishes for a feastbenefiting the Alzheimer’s Foundationof America.“I’m not in denial—that’s not anoption,” Paula says. “I’m not going tobe ashamed. I remember the days whenpeople didn’t say they had cancer. Samewith HIV. Then some people came outpublicly, and they helped bring attentionand funds to their cause. That’s wherewe are with Alzheimer’s today.”Similar fundraisers will take placeacross the country. Serge Madikians,the chef-owner of Serevan in NewYork’s Hudson Valley, is here to gainsome tips for an event he’s planningat his restaurant this fall.From author to activist“Paula’s aninspiration,” he says. “She shows thatyou don’t surrender to adversity. Youfigure out what you have control overand what you don’t, and then you come up with a plan.”Paula agrees. “I can’t writecookbooks anymore,” she tells thecrowd. “But I have too much energynot to do something so I’ve become anactivist.I don’t know if this is going tohelp me. But I’m not feeling sorry formyself. It may help you.”Late Summer Saladby Paula WolfertWhen tomatoes are ripe and summer bellpeppers are local and at their sweetest, thisraw salad really shines. It helps, too, to usea really great mono-floral honey such aslavender, eucalyptus, clover or acacia that isliquid, delicate and well-balanced.3 medium tomatoes, peeled,seeded and cubed1 large farm stand or organic redbell pepper, peeled, cored andfinely diced1 large farm stand or organic greenbell pepper, peeled, cored andfinely diced1 red onion, finely diced1 tablespoon liquid honey1 tablespoon lemon juice ormild cider vinegar4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oilSea salt and freshly groundblack pepper1 ½ tablespoons finely choppedcilantro leaves1½ tablespoons finely choppedflat-leaf parsleyMix tomatoes, peppers and red onionin a salad bowl. Mix honey, vinegar, oil, saltand pepper and toss with the vegetablesin the bowl. Sprinkle the chopped herbs ontop. Keep refrigerated until ready to serve(This recipe is from The Food of Morocco,HarperCollins, 2011.)

Philanthropy

Finding Strength in Adversity

It’s not the hand you have been dealt, or even how much the deck is stacked against you. It’s how you play your cards.At least, that’s HollyRobinson Peete’s perspective. Holly and her husband, former NFLquarterback Rodney Peete, have beenblessed with success in their careers. Butcaring for Holly’s father, who wassuffering from Parkinson’s disease, tooka toll on their family, both financiallyand emotionally.Inspired by herpersonal adversities, the actress-turned-philanthropistnow advocates for thecauses dear to her. Wanting to give back “It’s such a take, take, take world, and when you give back, you balance outall of the things and the blessings you have received,” Holly says. “It has mademe a less judgmental person and a morepatient person. My desire to live a life ofservice all comes from situations thathave happened to me.” Holly says she spent years feelingsorry for herself, saying, “Why me?”“Why is this happening to my lovedones?” But shifting the focus fromwhatever is going on in her life to helpingpeople who are suffering has been a verycathartic process. Drawing strength from family She and Rodney started theHollyRod Foundation in 1997 to helpthose dealing with Parkinson’s diseaseafford their treatments and medications.And in 2000, their mission expanded toinclude autism when their eldest son,Rodney “RJ” Peete Jr., was diagnosedwith the disorder. “We try to do a lot ofawareness and alleviate some of theirday-to-day stresses,” she says. “Both themission and the desire to raise funds andadvocate for families came out of twosituations, one with my father and onewith my son.” Compassionate care By partnering with the Parkinson’sDisease and other Movement DisordersCenter at the Keck School of Medicineof the University of Southern California,the HollyRod Compassionate CareProgram provides assistance withconsultations, physical therapy,swallowing treatment and ambulationaids. In 2010, the HollyRod Foundation teamed up with nabi tablet creator Fuhu Inc. to launch the Give the Gift of Voicecampaign, offering nonverbal autisticchildren a means to communicate. “These kids can’t talk, but they havea lot to say,” Holly says. “We have to givethem the tools to be able toexpress themselves.” Looking toward the future Holly is trying to bring issues like autistic kids' tendency to wander off, and the transition fromadolescence to adulthood into thediscussion. The same questions andfears she has for her own son, she has forevery child growing up with autism,including, “How is he going to live onhis own?” “Who is going to hire him?”“How will he adjust and become aproductive citizen?” Holly and RJ were on a flight homeafter a trip to the Super Bowl in NewYork. The seats were small andconfined, and 6-foot-2-inch RJ was fidgety. Midway through the flight, thegentleman in front of RJ turned aroundand scolded him for kicking the backofhis seat. Putting it in perspective “There was a time when they wouldhave had to haul me off. As a mom,I would have said, ‘How dare you bedisrespectful,’ ” she says. “Now I say,‘I understand what you are saying,and if I were in your position I wouldfeel this way, too, but here’s the deal.’He moved on, and I could tell he feltbad….I think that is the difference in the15 years we have been dealing with this.” Because of their experiences, Hollysays she and her family are stronger,more gracious and happier. That’s theirwinning hand.

Giving

3 Building Blocks of Compassion

"There are several practices, or strategies,that help us cultivate compassion," saysJan Hutton, a certified CompassionateListening facilitator who works with theCompassionate Listening Project. "Together, they teach us to listen to theworld with a different ear, to see theother person’s humanity and to respondin a different way."1. Find peace in yourselfThe first step is being compassionate withyourself. “I have to own my ownvulnerability as a human being and use itas a bridge to someone else’s heart,” Janexplains. “I have to acknowledge mywounds, acknowledge my mistakes,acknowledge that I’m human,acknowledge that I have limits. And Ihave to be gentle with myself.”Don’tbeat yourself up or criticize yourselfwhen you make mistakes or don’t live upto your own or others’ expectations.Instead, simply remind yourself thatmistakes are something you share withevery other human on the planet. It’s abond that pulls all of us together.2. Listen and reflectListen with yourheart. When you talk with anotherperson, quiet your mind, focus on the them, look for a deeper point ofconnection and practice reflective listening. When someone explains howthey feel about something, Jan says,repeat it so they know you understand who they are, what they think and whatthey feel. Expect—and accept withoutjudgment or comment—points of viewthat are widely divergent from your own.As the late Gene Knudsen Hoffman,founder of the Compassionate ListeningProject, wrote: “We must listen with aspiritual ear,” not the ones we usuallywalk through the world with.3. QuestionAsk friends to tell youstories and then follow up with questionsto encourage deeper thinking, such as “How has this situation affected yourlife?” “What was that like for you?” and“Can you tell me what life experience ledyou to feel this way?”The approach works in three ways: First,it helps us better understand someoneelse’s life story. Second, it allows usto sense our shared humanity. And,third, it helps us practice maintainingan attitude of acceptance so we avoidjudgments that are really results of ourbiases and fears.

Top 10 Most Charitable States

30 Days of Gratitude

Winning Isn’t Everything

Top 10 Books About Happiness

A Day of Rest

Library—Go Put Your Strengths to Work

Library—10% Happier

Recipe for Compassion

Finding Strength in Adversity

3 Building Blocks of Compassion

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