Practice

Whether dealing with a major life-shattering event or a small bump in the road, gratitude can help boost our happiness and change our outlook. While it won’t change our circumstances, experts say it can change how we feel about them. “Gratitude is a core part of each of us,” explains Ryan Niemiec, Psy.D., education director for Cincinnati’s VIA Institute on Character. “Gratitude is easy to tap into, and when you tap into that strength, it’s truly energizing.” Research on gratitude during the past 15 years has shown that it has many benefits—physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s been found to improve job performance, strengthen marriages and friendships, and enhance overall wellbeing. It is linked to stronger immune systems, lowered blood pressure, greater compassion and lowered stress levels. Gratitude also provides us with greater optimism and can increase happiness by as much as 25 percent. The research pointing to gratitude’s benefits, as well as the increased attention it has been receiving, have encouraged many people to begin incorporating it into their daily lives, Ryan says. Part of its appeal is how simple it is to apply: “Just count your blessings. Write down things you’re thankful for. Say ‘thank you’ more. Write a gratitude letter to someone—all of these are things that are easy to identify with and easy to do.” Your Brain on Gratitude People’s definitions of gratitude vary—some call it an attitude, some call it an action, some call it an emotion. It’s one of VIA’s 24 character strengths and falls under the category of “transcendence,” which encompasses strengths that forge connections to the larger universe and provide our lives with meaning. What’s interesting about gratitude, says Christina Karns, Ph.D., a research associate at the University of Oregon, is that all those definitions are correct. “It really is more than one thing,” she says. “As an emotion, it is complex and is made up of other emotions. Gratitude feels good—it is rewarding—but it’s also humbling [when you] consider what others have done for us.” Studies are showing that people with higher gratitude levels experience more activity in the hypothalamus, which is the “control center” for everything from functions like eating, drinking and sleeping to metabolism and stress levels. Like other feel-good emotions such as love and compassion, gratitude releases a rush of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain that makes us feel great both physically and emotionally. That’s why, scientists say, it improves sleep, lessens physical discomfort, and lowers stress and anxiety. It also helps create what they call a “virtuous cycle”—as you get the feel-good rush of gratitude, your brain starts looking for more things to be grateful for, hoping to get that next rush. The more we look for (and find) things we’re grateful for, the more we realize how blessed we are. After practicing gratitude for years and seeing how it improved her life and helped her through hard times, Christina began researching how it affects the way our brains are wired and how gratitude affects our reward systems. Her current research, which will be published in 2015, studies the key changes gratitude creates in the brain. She uses functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, to show which regions of the brain are affected by gratitude. Her research shows that gratitude relies on and triggers multiple brain systems, so she now is studying how gratitude-based exercises can change our behavior, brain responses and improve our connections with other people. “It’s fascinating how much [we] can change what our brain processes moment to moment, and how those changes can affect the wiring of the brain long term,” she says. While her studies have not yet identified how long an act of gratitude affects the brain, or if that effect can be prolonged, one thing has become clear: “Gratitude will make lasting changes in the brain—but only if you keep practicing!” Consistency is key, experts agree. Robert Emmons, Ph.D., of the University of California, Davis, has shown that people who keep a gratitude journal significantly increase their wellbeing over time, something he attributes to the way it makes us focus on the positives rather than the negatives. It helps us overcome what psychologists call our negativity bias, the natural tendency to remember negative experiences over positive ones. “When we become more grateful, it helps us focus on what is important to us,” explains Louis Alloro of the Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology program in Philadelphia. “We are conditioned to focus on what’s not working rather than looking at what is working. Gratitude changes what we look at and how we see it.” In fact, one Gallup study reports that more than 90 percent of American teens and adults said expressing gratitude made them “somewhat” or “extremely” happy. This same mindset is backed up by numerous studies showing the link between gratitude and an emotionally fulfilling life, personal growth, forgiveness, hope, optimism and even global positive effect. In Sickness and in Health Since much of the attention given to gratitude looks at emotional benefits and how it boosts an already healthy immune system, far less is known about the role of gratitude in people who are already sick. That led Fuschia Sirois, Ph.D., a professor in the department of psychology at Bishop’s University in Sherbrooke, Quebec, to research how gratitude affects people with chronic illness. Her co-author on the study, Alex Wood, Ph.D., director of the Behavioral Science Centre at the Stirling Management School at the University of Stirling in Scotland, studied gratitude as a tool for wellbeing in healthy individuals—then wondered if it would be similarly beneficial for those with ongoing health challenges. “Research tends to focus on the negative consequences of living with illness rather than how people can live well and flourish with chronic illness,” Fuschia says. What their studies found was that noticing “all the small but positive things in one’s life is key for enhancing happiness and wellbeing. When this becomes habitual, it can improve mood and adjustment.” Fuschia and Alex compared patients who practiced gratitude with those who practice “benefit finding,” which involves looking at what they have gained from their experience. The researchers found the gratitude group enjoyed significantly greater wellbeing and were less vulnerable to depression. “This is very important for individuals living with chronic illness, as [their] depression rates tend to be much higher compared to those without ongoing health issues,” she says. And, with further research, she said gratitude may be studied as an accompaniment to traditional medicine for overcoming health challenges in the future. In more than a dozen studies conducted since 2003, gratitude has consistently been shown to lower the incidence of eating disorders, anxiety, phobias, dependence on drugs, alcohol and nicotine—among other ailments. Additional studies indicate that practicing gratitude has even helped Vietnam War veterans overcome post-traumatic stress disorder. Outcomes have been so positive that Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., of George Mason University, believes further research is needed to see how gratitude could be used to help survivors of other types of trauma heal and thrive. The evidence for gratitude’s role in a happy life is substantial, but Louis teaches that it’s important to do more than just “be” grateful. He advises taking it a step further and “feeling” gratitude each time you express it. “It is key to feel it in your heart instead of keeping it in your mind,” he says. “When you say you’re grateful for something, it’s very often something that happened in the past—even if it was earlier that day. So I encourage people to not just say why they’re grateful, but to take a moment to remember how they felt when that was happening.” Taking time to feel that appreciation again gives that ever-important rush of dopamine, immediately increasing blood flow and activity. Basically, we emotionally re-enact the experience that made us feel grateful, and in doing so, we instantly generate healing, positive feelings. “It takes a little more time and more effort,” Louis says, “but you’ll see such a difference in the way it affects you." This article originally appeared in the December 2014 edition of Live Happy magazine.

Are negative people deeper and more evolved than positive people? There’s a cultural myth that the darker a person is, the deeper and more thoughtful he or she must be. But actually, modern research proves that wrong. Seeing the negative is actually done using our brain's most primitive part, which is in charge of responding to threats. The rest of the brain, which evolved around that primitive part, is the area that lets you scan the world for meaning and gratitude. So people stuck in brooding states are in fact not more evolved, they are using the most ancient parts of their minds. In today’s information-saturated world, it’s common to get caught in this trap. Negative noise is everywhere in our society and in the news, and the effect on us can clearly be measured. A study on the effects of media shows that people who watch local news see their city as significantly more dangerous than it actually is in terms of anticipated amounts of crime or likelihood of disaster. Letting this kind of noise into our minds can create a picture of the world that is full of danger, mistrust and gloom. As our brain works to make sense of the world, we feel compelled to first process the threats, and only after that can we turn our attention to the positive, meaningful parts of life. From a neuroscience perspective therefore, the deepest, most evolved people are the ones who can control and sift through the noise and fear to perceive the beauty and meaning in this world. Decreasing the amount of noise has huge advantages, as it has been connected with an increase in optimism and creativity. Some of the most respected thinkers from history stepped away from the noise —including their own noisy thoughts—and that led to incredible breakthroughs. In 1905, a frustrated Albert Einstein, who had been wrestling with inconsistencies with Newtonian physics, decided to give up thinking about it. On his way home one day on a streetcar in Bern, Switzerland, he looked up at the clock tower, and one of the most important ideas in history hit him: Time is not the same everywhere in the universe. This thought that changed everything we know about how the universe works flourished in the midst of a quiet mind. Canceling the noise was the first step. Seeing the world through a positive lens is not just important for our minds, it can save us from the damaging effects of negativity and stress on our bodies. Beyond the effects we often hear about, researchers from the University of California have now also found that anxiety and stress destroy the proteins, called telomeres, at the end of our chromosomes. The change dramatically speeds the aging process. And there is also new research to show that work exhaustion and worry can speed aging as well. It makes us think twice about the information we consciously allow to enter our brain. In Before Happiness, one of us (Shawn) looks at how to decrease the negative and extraneous noise using a strategy called Noise Canceling. Much like noise-canceling headphones, using this technique helps you cut out useless information to find the signal. In most cases, the signal we are all searching for is one that points to a life filled with hopefulness, meaning and happiness. This month, we invite you to try out a noise-canceling experiment in your life. Cut 5 percent of the noise you’re typically exposed to during the day. For instance, try decreasing the information flow just a little bit in your day by turning down the radio for the first five minutes of your commute, muting the commercials during one TV show, or taking two minutes to meditate in the middle of your workday. These very small changes create a leverage point where your brain can find the positive signal. Once you have canceled some noise, a great way to activate the evolved parts of your brain is to take a few minutes to engage in a positive habit that has been shown in our research to raise levels of happiness and wellbeing. For instance, try emailing yourself five things you feel positive about—your children, your values, your faith. Researchers at the University of Chicago found that when people wrote about their positive feelings for a few minutes they significantly lowered their levels of worry and pessimism. And not only did it decrease anxiety, it raised performance on tests of memory and critical skills by 10 to 15 percent. A simple activity such as writing down your gratitude or journaling for two minutes each day about a positive memory helps you see more of the meaning in your life. And since you’ve cut out some of the negativity and noise, you have more brain resources to devote to the positive side of life. We can’t promise noise canceling will help you come up with an idea as life-changing as Einstein’s, but it should help you make more room for the parts of your life that make it worth living...and that can be life-changing in itself. This article originally appeared in the April 2015 edition of Live Happy magazine.

Stress is and will always be part of our lives. But, as we enter another month of masks, stay-at-home orders, social unrest and uncertainty, our stress and anxiety levels being pushed to the max. According to the American Psychological Association’s (APA) Stress in America Report 2020, 46% of parents with children under age 18 report their stress levels related to the coronavirus pandemic are high and 83% of Americans believe the future of our nation is causing them a significant source of stress. Living this way is not only unsustainable, but it is also very bad for our mental and physical well-being. Research shows that when we properly manage our stress levels, we can prevent some really bad health issues, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and depression. So, if you are going a little stir crazy, here are a few tips to help relieve some of this newfound stress and get some peace of mind. 1. Practice Mindfulness While you and your family are stuck at home crawling all over each other, it may feel as if you have suddenly been transported into that trash compacter scene from Star Wars. Just to reassure you, the walls are not actually moving in on you and those feelings of suffocation are in your head. Practicing mindfulness can help clear out some of those anxieties and other brain clutter that adds extra stress to your life. Experts believe that a good time to try a relaxation technique is right after lunch. This is our rest and digest mode and it is the opposite of fight or flight. If possible, let your co-workers and family members know that you need 10 to 15 minutes for quiet reflection. If you need help calming your system, try a simple exercise of closing your eyes and breathing in for four seconds, holding your breath for seven seconds and then exhaling for eight seconds. Repeat this five times in a row and you’ll start to notice a sense of calm blanketing you. If you need some guidance on how to practice mindfulness, a few apps to check out are Calm, Smiling Mind, Mind Free and Headspace. Plus, if you are unemployed because of the pandemic, you can sign up for a Headspace subscription free for one year. 2. Make More Connections Even before we had social distancing due to the global pandemic, social isolation and loneliness was becoming a national epidemic. According to a 2018 survey from AARP, one out of every three adults over the age of 45 is lonely. While the current situation of stay-at-home orders hasn’t exacerbated the loneliness problem yet, the ties between social relationships and happiness are inextricably linked, and maintaining positive connections with others is associated with positive health outcomes. No matter if your connections are personal, professional, or both, strong relationships keep us happy. While you can’t physically reach out and touch someone right now, you can stay connected through technology. Try using FaceTime or Skype to call a loved one, a coworker or an old friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Talking to someone you trust and love will calm your fears and increase your happiness. Research shows that tight connections to other people is also good for our physical health because it helps lower those cortisol levels that lead to stress while boosting the immune system. If you need someone or a group to reach out to for support, self-care social media app Lyf offers its platform as a place to connect and share thoughts and experiences with other users, access to licensed psychologists 24-hours a day to answer any questions you may have about how you are feeling, or to just to vent your frustrations. If you are a frontline worker, Lyf is offering free, 60-minute support sessions with mental health experts during the COVID-19 crisis to help deal with issues of anxiety, fear, helplessness and anger. 3. Keep Your Body Moving Exercise is vital for physical health, but it is also important for maintaining mental health. So, being physically active not only keeps you healthier but happier too. In a study recently published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers found a correlation between the frequent physical activity and happiness in people who exercised at least 5 days a week between 30 and 75 minutes. According to the APA, regular exercise helps the brain deal with stress and can be a great mood-booster to fight off the effects of anxiety and depression. In fact, some studies claim that 20 minutes of exercise a day can improve your mood for up to 12 hours. Even though you can’t visit the gym or a yoga class right now, there are still plenty of ways to stay fit even if you are stuck in the home. Virtual classes are readily available online or on apps and treadmills are a great substitute for outdoor running. 4. Eat a Healthy Diet Stress can have a huge impact on your eating habits by throwing off your metabolism and making you more susceptible to emotional eating. Health officials from the Cleveland Clinic advise to keep plenty of healthy snacks around to prevent overeating foods that aren’t good for you and to give the body maintain proper nutrition to help fight off stress. Healthy foods, including plenty of fruits and vegetables, will also stabilize your blood sugar which will keep your emotions in check too. Healthy food and comfort food don’t have to be mutually exclusive, according to Chef Gerard Viverito, The Sustainable Chef. Instead of filling up your cart with junk food, he offers a few sustainable solutions that are pleasing to the palette. If meat prices are too high in your area, Gerard recommends eating more fish as well as becoming more familiar with how to prepare it. If you want to control snack attacks, try fiber-rich foods from the ground that fill you up faster. If you stuck at home and looking for family-fun activities, Gerard suggests making food fun by planting “a garden with kid-approved brain foods such as strawberries, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, spinach and broccoli.” Now, the Bright Side As we continue to navigate these troubled and stressful times, it’s important to keep a positive mindset as much as we can. Positivity will put is in a better position to fight off the negative effects of stress and anxiety. Being stuck inside and having limited connections with the outside world may not be all bad. Home services and products review site Reviews.org recently surveyed 500 Americans to determine the impact COVID-19 and social distancing has had on our personal lives and found a few positives side effects of social distancing. According to their findings, 54% of Americans say they feel closer to friends and family, 50% feel like they have more pride in their community and 47% say they have learned a new skill or hobby. It just goes to show that even in the darkest of times, people are hopeful, innovative and resilient.

For nearly two decades, businesses have zeroed in on the stunting effect of today’s focus- starved brains. The statistics are stunning. A recent PayScale survey reported that 56% of college grads do not pay attention to detail at work. The cost of error is equally as staggering. Companies in the United States pay a whopping $650 billion per year for errors attributed to employee distraction. That doesn’t even cover the full extent of the inattention problem to organizations. Employees with high-quality attention skills have become a commodity. But I promise you, this attention story doesn’t stop with just avoiding workplace flubs and institutional loss of monies. The other side of the attention picture is you—do you feel like you’re crushing it? How productive, happy and fulfilled do you feel each day at work, at home or at play? You might ask what attention has to do with it. The answer may help clear up and fix a wide range of ongoing concerns. Simply put, attention is at the core of every single thing you think, feel and do. You can vastly improve your attention skill and thus day to day living by simply knowing a little bit about what is happening in your head when you pay attention and by doing this or that to manage it. So, after nearly two decades of research and working with all kinds of groups from athletes to students, from businesspeople to retirees, I established a simple format to help individuals accomplish this. I laid this format out in my newest book, The 12 Rules of Attention: How to Avoid Screw-Ups, Free Up Headspace, Do More, and Be More at Work. What is This Thing We Call Attention? Attention is an ultra-sophisticated fetching system targeting a piece of information, bringing it into your working memory and connecting it to other information you have stored there to create processes to accomplish tasks. Think of it this way. Within every daily experience, your mind creates a quick picture of what is going on. It sends out "scouts" (neurons talking to other neurons) into your memories of similar experiences that then come back and "report" feelings, beliefs and behavioral options you paid attention to in the past, as well as those you engaged and those you dismissed. This information gathering process occurs under your radar, deep in the catacombs of your brain. What's more, it all happens in just milliseconds. As such, it is unconscious to you. Your mind generates several behavioral possibilities and, in the end, you act out one of them. From our perspective, we "just do it," unaware of all that has happened subconsciously to get us there. If you’re thinking that sounds rather robotic, it is. For better or worse, it’s the way we are made, and most of the decisions we make all day come about this way. These remarkable automatic, high-speed brain circuits driving our behaviors have a plethora of creative uses, as well as other virtues you can take advantage of. On the other hand, they can trigger high-speed trouble you should avoid but all too often you wind repeating. The more you learn to regulate them, the more you will use them to generate daily interactions and eliminate the proverbial bummers. Psychologists believe that as much as 96% of our behavior may be decided by these automatic circuits—as I said, sometimes regrettably so. For example, have you ever witnessed someone just beginning to speak at a meeting and a colleague is already shaking his head "no" (automatically) disagreeing without even realizing he is doing so—before he is even sure where the discussion is headed? Have you ever read an important document over and over and still miss a significant error that is staring you in the face? A colleague of mine once walked into a room on his first day of classes and started teaching a class that was not his own—not even the same subject. He was in Room 306 alright, but the wrong building. Those kinds of flubs, which we all make, sometimes leave you wondering what's going on "upstairs." These are all examples of little slip-ups in our attentional machinery sparked by automatic circuits. But we have all experienced more serious ones. On the other hand, you use the same mental network to perfect your golf swing, a favorite riff on the guitar or use language at work that others can easily and congenially connect with. How to Begin Your Attention Awareness Pay attention to how you are paying attention—Rule #1 in my book. If you only do one thing, do this. Just step back for a moment when you are about to engage in something important and make yourself aware of whether your attention is strong, wavering, scattered or weak. If your attention span is good, by all means, proceed. If not, you can use any of several utilize energy building techniques to increase your mental acuity. I provide several fun ways in my book. For relief now, however, consider this: it's better to take a break and build your energy than trudge through increasing the possibility of error. Practicing this one rule can be a game-changer. You are stepping into the 96% world of automatized behaviors and in a sense becoming the CEO of your own mind. You are deciding for yourself what is best for you in the moment. This tiny tweak will improve your game considerably. Once your energy is strong, you can proceed. Try This! I recommend using this little brain-talk activity right before significant elements in your workday. I call it the self-scan. The self-scan identifies details that should be within your attentional spotlight, keeps you from being overwhelmed by unnecessary information and prevents vital attentional circuits from shutting down and dulling your attentional lamp. It helps you inventory what’s happening in your head when you are paying attention and what’s not. Start by taking a nice slow breath and relaxing. Think of your attention as a spotlight. Select where you will aim it. Next, ask yourself these questions: Where am I at this moment? What am I trying to do? What should I be trying to do in this situation? What do others think I should be doing in this situation? What are the demands of my environment (e.g., distracters that need to be avoided, a large room that requires the need to listen more closely to hear, etc.)? What have I done in similar situations in the past? Do I want to do anything differently? If so, how? Finally, proceed. It All Adds Up There are eleven other rules I lay out in my book, such as learning to squash unrelated information vying for your attention, managing what you don't see if it has an effect on your goals and knowing how to use your in-a-glance mental capacity to catch more desired detail and several others as well. It all adds up. Training your attention helps you update the links in your mind that are responsible for your behaviors and condition them to your advantage. The nice thing is that one small change today can make a difference tomorrow and provide some instant relief. Regular small changes...this week, month and year will have a snowball effect and make a big impact on your day to day living and future.

Give me a place to stand on and I will move the Earth.—Archimedes There are two perennial questions we need to ask in order to find each other and our way in the world. They are: What am I standing on? and What am I standing for? Standing on refers us back to a timeless foundation, to some sense of Source, to all that is larger than us from which we’re renewed as integral beings. Standing for leads us into the heart of what we value and the ethics by which we live in the world. Standing on gives us a compass. Standing for gives us a direction to stay true to by following that compass. The two perennial questions need to be asked of ourselves and everyone we meet. They are a basis for honest relationship. What we stand on is inextricably linked to what we stand for. Consider how a simple lever works. Using a pivot point known as a fulcrum, one weight can leverage the lift of another weight. With our commitment as the fulcrum, what we stand on gives us leverage to empower what we stand for. In this way, who we are leverages what we do in the world. But without knowing what we stand on, what we stand for can become hollow. Without knowing our foundation, we can become overbearing in our opinions. There are always two sides of knowing. One is the quest for meaning, the endless forging of what is essential in order to live. The other is our attachment to a particular view, idea, feeling, or belief. This is the trap of conviction: the stubbornness that turns truth into an assumption or conclusion. It’s the trap of conviction that has Israelis and Palestinians distrust each other without ever having met while young Christians in the Midwest run with no reason from Islamic children. As Jon Kabat-Zinn puts it, “If you’re too convicted in your opinions or beliefs, perhaps you are a convict, imprisoned within the confines of your own understandings.” In this way, unquestioned convictions are old thoughts hardened into seldom-tested beliefs. Instead of bringing us closer to life and each other, our hardened views enforce patterns that keep us from reclaiming the common ground we all stand on. Ultimately, we’re challenged to find something lasting to stand on and something noble to stand for." Part of the riddle of being human resides in this question: If love and truth are in us, why are they so hard to find and grow between us? It seems that love and truth wait like seeds within us. If never watered, they never grow. But if what lives in us is watered, the vastness of life enters our heart like rain soaking seeds waiting in soil. In time, there’s a fertile silence that takes the place of words as we break surface and living with that, our pains give way to joy. How vastness enters our heart is part of the human journey. For everyone will be dropped into the depth of life. What matters is how we meet that moment and who comes with us. Meeting that chance is how the deeper journey of life begins. For me, that chance was my journey through cancer. It changed my stance in the world. It made me a student of all paths and all traditions. It made me a student of applied Spirit. It led me to what I stand on and stand for. But it doesn’t have to be illness or catastrophe that grounds us. It can be wonder, beauty, love, or surprise. Great love and great suffering come to us all, to remind us how rare it is to be here at all. Then it’s our job to stay awake and aware, kind and loving. Ultimately, we’re challenged to find something lasting to stand on and something noble to stand for. Being human is such a mystery, filled with blessings and hardships, often one leading to the other. And through my own spin from blessing to hardship and back, I’ve learned that when all else fails, I’m often forced to stand exactly where I am until the ground of being that lives forever comes up through my feet, making me a little more solid. So I invite you to reflect on what you stand on. What is your deepest, bedrock, your foundation? How does it solidify your place in this life? And what do you stand for? What are the values and ethics that guide your truest actions in the world? In a personal way, how is what you stand on related to what you stand for? I invite you to also reflect on your hardened convictions, obsessions, and excesses, as a way to diagnose what keeps you from what you stand on. I invite you to listen to your experience, as a way to put down what’s in the way. For inner work begins with the vow to get closer to life. Standing on and standing for are endless quests for how we in our fullness can keep the world together. I only know that when a flower finally opens, it accepts everything that comes from the sky. And when a heart finally opens, it accepts everything about existence. And when loving wholeheartedly, we can make honey out of anything. The river of who we are runs through every country. It ignores all borders. Our call is to follow that river. Questions to walk with: In your journal, describe one way you are trapped in your own convictions, one way you are too stubborn about something you believe in. How can you update and refresh this conviction or belief? In conversation with a friend or loved one, take turns describing what each of you stands on and what you stand for. Then discuss one aspect of your personal history that you both have in common.

This month in my “Work-from-Anywhere-in-the-World” journey, I am posting from beautiful Jardin du Luxembourg, Paris, France. Here are this week’s coaching questions for you to consider: What have you been meaning to reinvent about yourself? What is one small step you will take this week to make it happen? I asked these questions to two young women here in Paris. First, Anastasia, whom I met at the Gardens in front of the Palais du Luxembourg, was on her honeymoon with her husband Dimitri. She says that when she returns home to Russia, “I don’t want to rush. I want to enjoy my life and my family.” The second woman is my daughter Maegan who joined me on this trip to Paris for a picnic in the park. She says: “One thing I am going to do to reinvent myself is learning to just be. My mom says we are human beings, not human doers, so I am going to practice just learning to be.” The small step she is going to do today is go to a café and just sit and enjoy the moment. “No phone, no book … just learn to just be.” Now, think about these questions and let me know, how would you reply? Au revoir and Live Happy, Coach Margaret

Children born with a heart defect in America are treated and grow up living normal, happy lives. In fact, the procedure is so routine, surgeons can perform three in one day. However, with little to no access to health care, children with the same defect in remote areas of the world may go untreated for years, if they receive treatment at all. The HeartGift Foundation is mending those hearts. With chapters in Texas and Louisiana, HeartGift helps children like Louise, an 11-year-old girl from the West African country of Liberia, receive a procedure that would have been taken care of earlier in life if they had been born in the United States. At no cost to the child, HeartGift coordinates his or her entire journey, from the trip to the United States for the operation through the recovery process. During the child’s stay, he or she is embraced by a host family as well as the surrounding community. “We really count on [the city] to help. It takes a village,” says Barbara Johnson, executive director of the Dallas chapter. “Our cause is pretty easy to sell. Helping save children’s lives—how can you say no to that?” With the help of the local children’s hospital, the host city and private donations, HeartGift can save a child’s life for about $25,000, and since its inception, the organization has served more than 200 children. Barbara says volunteers often say they feel they get as much out of the experience as the children. “Open-heart surgery is no picnic,” Barbara says. “We have a serious mission that we are carrying out, but [in the end] it’s extremely fulfilling.”