Businessman in a suit

Do You Have The Grit To Create Lasting Success?

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and wellness coachMichelleMcQuaidpresents a series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the third of five insightful posts. Each podcast/interview features a differentpositive psychology expert, all speaking on topics related to happiness, confidence and success in the workplace. Do you have the passion and perseverance necessary to create a successful career?Researchers have found when it comes to successfully achieving our long-term goals, there’s one quality that distinguishes us most: grit. “Gritty individuals approach the journey to mastery like a marathon rather than a sprint, and this fuels their stamina to practice their talents over and over and over again,” explains Angela Duckworth, associate professor of psychology at University of California at Riverside. Click here to listen to the full podcast. Angela defines grit as the tendency to sustain interest in and effort toward longterm goals. It entails working consistently toward challenges and being able to maintain interest and effort over time, despite failures, setbacks and plateaus in progress. Whereas most of us take disappointment or boredom as signals that it might be time to cut our losses, people with grit take these signs as the moment when they need to stick with it and truly show up. Her researchhas established the predictive power of grit to determine successful outcomes. While much is still being learned about the subject, Angela suggests three things you can do to improve your level of grit: 1. Be Meaningfully Interested Make sure your longterm goal is based around something that is interesting and meaningful to you. Professor William Damon at Stanford University has found that when we find something personally interesting, and it’s meaningful to the world beyond ourselves, we are able to connect passion with action. It motivates us, providing a sense of purpose and energy, and preventing burnout. 2. Cultivate a growth mindset​ In recent research with Professor Carol Dweck from Stanford University, Angela has found that grit is positively correlated with the belief that we can improve our talents and abilities. Having a “growth mindset” is one of the cognitive antecedents that makes you more inclined to be gritty because it cultivates the belief that things can improve, that failure is not permanent and that there is a reason to persist. 3. Ask for support Rely on other people around you who can hold you accountable to your goals and ensure you don’t quit in the face of frustration or discouragement. When you study the trajectories of top performers, you see that there were times when they stumbled and doubted themselves. It wasn’t always easy for them, and in many cases, they relied on others to help them get through the toughest times. As Woody Allen once noted, “Eighty percent of success in life is showing up.”And while the number 80 percent does not come from academic research, Angela does agree that for many endeavors, if you can just persist and keep showing up, you will eventually overcomes many of the obstacles in your path. You can test your levels of grit in Angela’s research lab at sites.sas.upenn.edu/duckworth. And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit showupshineandsucceed.com.
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Courageous woman

5 Steps to a More Courageous You

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and workplace wellbeing coach MichelleMcQuaid presents this series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the second of five insightful, informative posts. Each podcast/interview features a differentpositive psychology expert, all speaking on topics related to happiness, confidence and success in the workplace.At work, are you more driven by what inspires you or what scares you?Margie Warrell, best-selling author and coach, puts it this way: “ ‘For the sake of what?’ are you willing to speak up at work, transition your career, start a new business or take on a big job?” All of these things involve risk; what would motivate you to take on that kind of risk? Once you identify that, you can find the courage to make those changes.Fear keeps us small and stuck in jobs that don’t fulfill us, but make us feel safe. But is there really anything safe about living a life in which you feel disengaged, disillusioned or desperate to be doing something else?“In order for you to get outside your comfort zone and stop playing small and safe, you need to have a clear purpose,” said Margie, when I interviewed her recently.Click here to listen to the full podcast.Feel the fear and do it anyway“Courage isn’t the absence of fear,” explains Margie. “Rather, courage is action in the presence of our fears and self-doubts.”When we act by starting with small steps over time, we become more courageous. Our fears don’t run our lives, and we’re much more driven by what inspires us than by what scares us.However, we tend to overestimate the probability that something will go wrong and underestimate our ability to handle the consequences of risk. These factors drive us to avoid the actions we really need to take—not stick ourselves out there and speak up.‘For the sake of what?’There is a big difference between being well off and having wellbeing. It’s easy to mislead ourselves that if we just had the success we wanted, it would be simple to develop our strengths—to show up and shine in ways that truly matter.But that actually works in reverse. Only when you can answer “for the sake of what” clearly will you be willing to put yourself at risk, truly courageous and as purposeful and successful as you can be.According to Margie, taking the following steps will help you to stop playing safe and find the courage to do what really matters to you at work:1. Be aware of your impactBecome aware of the impact you have on others simply by the spirit you bring to what you do. You may not be living out your greatest passion each day. But if you bring a spirit of engagement to what you do, you show others that what you do each day matters.2. Understand what drives you​Why would you bother to speak up at work, start a new career or take on a new job? What would it take for you to risk leaving your comfort zone? Once you identify that “why,” you will have the clear-eyed determination to go for it. 3. Find your purposeDiscover the intersection of your talents, passions, values and skills so that what you do every day is meaningful. There may be things you are passionate about, but you might lack relevant skill at the moment. Or there may not be an opportunity—or perhaps if you pursued this passion as a vocation, it might compromise the family stability you value.Purpose is rarely about all or nothing. Rather, it’s about finding an intersection between what you’re good at and care about with value and need in the marketplace. That intersection creates opportunities to combine them.4. Cultivate a courage mindsetEmbrace the discomfort that comes with feeling vulnerable by doing things that expose you to failure. As you become more certain what you want to do with your life, don’t start by taking on Mount Everest. Courage builds, so start where you are and do something today that stretches you. When you encounter setbacks, pick yourself up and figure out what the next step should be. It's also important to surround yourself with others who are courageous, conscious and committed—people who lift you up instead of pull you down.5. Tame your inner criticWe all have a voice inside our head that say, “Who are you to do that? You’re not good enough. What will people say if you fail?” Try saying, “Thank you very much. I know you’re trying to protect me ... Now be quiet, I’m going to take this risk anyway.”Find more practical strategies to help implement these ideas in Margie’s best-selling book Stop Playing Safe and at margiewarrell.com.And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit showupshineandsucceed.com.
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Man and woman in an office

5 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

Live Happy blogger, best-selling author and workplace wellbeing coach Michelle McQuaidpresents this series of interviews entitled "Show Up, Shine and Succeed." This is the first of five insightful, informative posts, each featuring a different positive psychology expert.Do you ever find yourself hesitating, holding yourself back at work for fear that you’ll be discovered as an imposter? Do you worry that maybe you’re not really “good enough” to achieve the kind of success you dream of?Everyone experiences self-doubt from time to timeIf you are bothered by self-doubt, you’re not alone. In fact, one study of managers by the European Institute for Leadership and Management revealed that 50% of female managers and 31% of male managers admitted to experiencing self-doubt.“Unfortunately when we’re worried that our abilities are going to be questioned, we lack the confidence to turn our thoughts into actions,” explained Louisa Jewell, a positive psychology expert who has studied self-doubt extensively.Click here to listen to full audio interview.Self-doubt can hinder your performance at work“Self-doubt causes us to engage in self-protective strategies at work, such as procrastination, hesitation and self-handicapping in order to avoid failure,” says Louisa. “While we may start out consciously using these strategies, once we realize they’re working, they often become unconscious habits that limit our potential for growth and success.”While often viewed as internal—something created by the stories we tell inside our own heads—Louisa points out that researchers now believe self-doubt may be socially constructed.“Self-doubt is often generated in your mind because of the social evaluations of others,” she explained. “Human beings are generally sensitive creatures, and the moment someone questions you, challenges you or looks at you in a funny way, you start to question your abilities.”According to Louisa, we can move beyond self-doubt by using the following approaches:1. Be aware of who you surround yourself with.Your social network can either increase or reduce your self-doubt. If you’re embarking on something new, make sure you’ve got supportive people around you who are encouraging you to move forward.2. Focus on your workInstead of wondering, “How does that make me look?” or “What if I fail in front of this person now?” focus instead on what you’re trying to create, who you’re trying to serve and what you’d like to achieve. Try saying: “I’m just working away here and I could care less about what others might think about me.”3. Challenge the negative chatter in your head. Be aware of what you’re saying to yourself. If you find your thoughts are full of negativity and judgment, then challenge what you’re saying by asking: “Is that true?” Rather than having your thoughts irrationally hijacked by self-doubt, rationally look for evidence to take a more objective, balanced point of view.4. Use your strengths. Be aware of the things that you like to do and are good at and use these consciously to fuel your confidence to act. When you draw on your strengths it removes your fear of moving forward and taps into your deep-rooted belief that you can succeed, and that you have the resources and skills to tackle new challenges.5. Practice self-compassion.Be willing to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding. Don’t judge yourself harshly or feel the need to defensively focus on all your awesome qualities to protect your ego. Instead, embrace the fact that to err is indeed human. Try to get a realistic sense of your abilities and actions, and then figure out what needs to be done differently next time.You can find out more about Louisa’s research and her upcoming book on self-doubt at https://www.louisajewell.com.And if you’d like more tested, practical ways to show up, shine and succeed at work visit https://www.showupshineandsucceed.com.
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Wman at work smiling

Show Up and Succeed

Recent polls show that two out of every three people report feeling disengaged in their jobs; many of us would simply like to be more inspired by our work.Perhaps you’re hoping for that extra bit of confidence to ask for a promotion. Maybe you’d like to be able to enjoy your work more, no matter what you’re doing or whom you’re working for. Or could it be that you hope others around you will finally recognize your skills and talents and reward you fairly for them.For many of us it’s as simple as having a bit more energy, feeling a little happier and finally being able to create the success we know we’re capable of. But what are the tested and practical approaches you can use to show-up, shine and succeed at work?Podcast series focuses on happiness and success in the workplaceEvery day next week, from September 29 to October 3, Live Happy will feature a podcast and blog in which work/wellness expert Michelle McQuaid discusses different aspects of workplace success and happiness. Five podcasts will feature five prominent experts in the field, each addressing a different perspective on how we can become more engaged and be inspired by our work.Louisa JewellPositive psychology expert Louisa Jewell notes that our sense of self-worth often impacts how we feel about our work. “Self-doubt causes us to engage in self-protective strategies at work like procrastination, hesitation and self-handicapping that hold us back from achieving the results we long for,” explains Louisa.Self-doubt is an internal phenomenon that reflects the way you talk to yourself. You can counter it with awareness, disputing the negative self-talk, and with a healthy dose of self-compassion. Increasingly studies find that self-doubt is generated by the social evaluations of others and the commentary that surrounds us.So how can you maintain your confidence in the face of other people’s criticism?Margie WarrellCourage coach and best-selling author Margie Warrell recommends making sure you are driven by what inspires you and not by what scares you.“In order for you to get outside your comfort zone and stop playing small and safe, you need to have a clear purpose,” said Margie. “Try to find what it is you are willing to speak up about at work. If you think through how you might want to transition your career, start a new business or take on a great big job when there’s more chance of you failing than the one you’re in right now.”Only when you can answer clearly ‘for the sake of what’ you’re willing to put yourself at risk, can you be as courageous as you can be, as purposeful as you can be and as successful as you can be.But will you have the grit to sustain your efforts?Angela DuckworthAngela Duckworth,Associate Professorat the University of Pennsylvania defines grit as the passion and perseverance for long-term and challenging goals. It's being inclined to really stick with a couple of things you care about and work hard towards them over weeks, over years and even decades.“Gritty people have placed extremely high values on their goals, and they understand that to accomplish anything worthwhile is going to require extraordinary investment,” explains Angela. “As a result they value habits, and accept that feelings of frustration are a normal part of growth.”But how can you develop positive habits when your time at work and home is already maxed out?B.J. FoggBehavioral psychologist B.J. Fogg, professor at Stanford University is dedicated to finding small changes that make improving our behavior easier.“Tiny habits help you scale back bigger behaviors into many small behaviors and sequencing it somewhere in your life that fits well. It relies less on willpower and motivation to create change and more on redesigning your life little by little so over time these small shifts create dramatic results.”For example, if you want to finally read the pile of articles and books growing next to your desk, then you could create a tiny habit recipe like this: After I turn on my computer at work, I will read one page. Then as the habit becomes routine, let it grow day by day until you’ve worked your way through the pile and are looking for new things to read.Once they start to stick though how will you protect your tiny habits from everyone else’s demands on your time and energy?Valorie BurtonBest-selling author and productivity coach Valorie Burton recommends setting and keeping clear boundaries with your boss and colleagues if you want to remain productive and happy at work.“Start by asking yourself, what are the boundaries you need to set in order to protect your own peace, joy and serenity at work,” suggests Valorie. “Choose the areas where you most feel the need for change and then ask yourself what conversation is it time to have?”To help you build up the courage, confidence and energy to take each of these steps, take the time to clarify in your own mind what it would take for you to show up, shine and succeed in ways that unleash your true potential at work.Sign up for the podcasts to be delivered to your inboxIf you’re ready to feel more engaged and inspired about your work, and to learn practical strategies for flourishing from top experts in the field, be sure to join Louisa, Margie, Angela, B.J. and Valorie for this special series of interviews. Sign up by clicking here to have the podcasts sent directly to your inbox, beginning on Monday, September 29th, or simply visit LiveHappy.com to access the podcasts and accompanying blog.
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Kids learning at school

5 Tips to Help Kids Become Happier Students

The dawn of a new school year canbe stressful for students and,inevitably, for parents as well! The charter school KIPP, which focuses on student achievement and empowerment, offers these tips for parents, as we help our kids navigate the social and academic difficulties of school. Giving kids the toolsthey need to be resilient when adversity strikes can ensure their success in theclassroom, as well as later in life. Dallas-Fort Worth’s KnowledgeIs Power Program (KIPP) shares fiveof the most common issues studentsface—and how you can prepare themfor the challenges that lie ahead: 1. Managing stress in a healthy way Everyone faces stress, andyour kids will, too. Establish schedulesand routines, and then stick to them.Consistency and predictability willhelp control the environment and easestress levels for the whole family. 2. Building and maintaining self-confidence Identify students’strengths to boost their confidence.Find out why they excel in one subject,and then apply that reason to areaswhere they may be struggling. 3. Handling rejection—and moving forward As much as wehate to think about our children beingrejected, at some point, it’s bound tohappen. Create leadership roles athome, giving them the opportunityto learn how to handle failure in asafe place. 4. Being respectful Be theexample for your children. Modelingpositive behavior shows them theproper way to treat and respect people. 5. Interacting with friends and adults, online and in person Set clear boundaries onwhom they should and should not be contacting, especially through socialmedia. Teach students to be responsiblefor their actions.
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Parents with children in city environment

6 Reasons to Raise Your Family in the City

Conventional wisdom tells us that to raise happy children, you need a big house, a lawn, fences, backyards, mudrooms and playrooms. You need a quiet neighborhood and a nice, safe car to travel through it. In other words, you need the suburbs.Or maybe you don't. A growing number of families are choosing to raise their kids in dense urban areas—city centers—rather than retreat to the suburbs. “In 2011, for the first time in nearly a hundred years, the rate of urban population growth outpaced suburban growth, reversing a trend that held steady for every decade since the invention of the automobile,” wrote Leigh Gallagher, author of The End of the Suburbs: Where the American Dream Is Moving, in a 2013 story in Time magazine.As Columbia associate professor and author ofA Country of Cities: A Manifesto for an Urban AmericaVishaan Chakrabarti, Ph.D., writes in a 2014 New York Times editorial, "In the past, many of those who moved to cities in their 20s moved to the suburbs in their 30s, where schools were good, crime was low and family-oriented amenities were plentiful. But those factors are changing in cities, too. Crime has remained low, while public schools and parks have been getting better in many places."But that's not all city living has to offer. Here are six more reasons people are choosing to nest in an urban area:1. Culture at your fingertipsIf you live in a big urban center, you are much more likely to have easy access to cultural amenities, such as the symphony, opera and ballet, as well as museums, rep movie houses, and historical landmarks. Amy Graff, a San Francisco mom of three children, ages 11, 9 and 1, says she used to regret not having a backyard when the kids were young, but as they’ve gotten older, she appreciates having the whole city, including its museums and parks, as her “backyard.” Says Graff, “It’s all available to us, just a bus ride away.”2. Cutting down on carpool timeEven the happiest suburban parent generally doesn’t enjoy the hours spent behind the wheel ferrying the kids to school, camp or classes. In cities, parents begin to let their children use public transportation around the age of 11 or 12, especially if they are with friends. Not only do parents get a break, the kids gain a sense of independence and self-reliance.3. Being a citizen of the worldPeople from all over the world live and work in cities. Children get to meet people with a variety of life experiences and backgrounds, which increases compassion and tolerance. “Kids in the city are exposed to so many different kinds of people,” says Graff, the mom from San Francisco. One day her daughter came home and asked for dried seaweed in her lunch after tasting it in a school friend’s lunch.4. Absorbing importantlessonsIt's terrible having to explain to a child why that homeless man is sleeping on the sidewalk. But there are opportunities for learning and growth, as well as opportunities to volunteer and offer real help, such as volunteer shifts at food banks or homeless shelters. “I have a friend who grew up in an upscale suburb,” says Houston attorney KatieSunstrom, who has 4- and 8-year-old boys. “She says she never knew there were poor people until she went into the Peace Corps! Seeing different kinds of people deepens children’s understanding of the world and their place in it. Our job is to teach them to give as well as to take.”5. Little or no commuteFamilies who both live and work in one city spend less time getting to and from work. This means more time to play, do homework or otherwise be with the kids. Sabrina Garibian, who has a 2-year-old and a 16-month-old she’s raising in downtown Philadelphia, says her husband’s commute is one walkable mile. “I only use my car once during the week to go to the market,” says Garibian. “Our vet is in walking distance, our pediatrician is within walking distance.”6. Amazing food and other amenitiesCan you find artisanal single-source coffee or ice cream made with liquid nitrogen at your local strip mall? Okay, not every city center has the mind-boggling smorgasbord of eating and drinking that you find in San Francisco, Chicago or Brooklyn, but the options in any city are usually better and more diverse than what you find in the burbs. Easy access to these delicacies and to interesting boutiques and stores is another reason to go urban.Are you raising children in the city? Tell us about your experiences and what makes you happy about where you live.Joyce Slaton writes, sews, cooks and lives in San Francisco with a husband, an enormous orange cat and one fiery grade-school daughter, Violet. Her work has appeared in Self, Ms., Wired, and Babycenter.com, where she has been blogging for almost a decade.
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Wealthy women out shopping

Money Can’t Buy You Love

In 2007, I was a multimillionaire. I traveled the world, I attended expensive galas, and (with my husband) donated vast sums of money to charities and political causes. I had friends in abundance; everyone returned my calls, invited me to their parties, and wanted to be “besties." I can’t lie, being in demand felt great—but I discovered the flip side of the coin in 2012, when my family and I lost everything.Shakespeare wrote, 'Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel.' The meaning is pretty straightforward: if you have friends who have proven their loyalty, hold them tight and don’t let go.Suddenly weneededfriends. Badly.I’d thought that when bad things happen to rich people, their friends dissipate like fog burning off Long Island Sound. We did have friends abandon us when the chips were down, but we also had plenty who stuck by us, stayed in touch and genuinely cared about how we were doing.In the process of navigating the tricky waters of friendship after losing everything, I discovered a few keys to building lasting connections across any financial strata.1. Focus on what's realI’ve had the chance to meet plenty of exciting, interesting characters. But I’ve also had to endure a lot of inane conversations, where people are talking about things like the practicalities of bringing a private hairdresser on vacation or the joys of finding a non-chatty chauffeur. Those conversations don’t have much substance, and I've learned that relationships built on discussing unimportant worries aren’t very reliable.No matter what your income level, focus on friendships that are based in the true essentials of being human: love, kindness, family and the lifelong quest of cultivating empathy. Make sure the people you’re connecting with have some depth.2. Don't try to draw a straight line between wealth and kindnessIn theory, wealthy people have a lot more ability to be generous than people of lower income levels but in practice that doesn’t bear out. In fact, studyafter studyhave proven the exact opposite: Less financially secure people are more prone to acts of charity.When my family was hard up, many of the people who stuck by our side, brought meals and passed hand-me-downs our way were people we knew in a service capacity: waiters we’d made friends with, personal assistants we’d had to let go. I learned the key is to meet people on a human level, to listen, to empathize and to care without regard to how much anyone has in the bank.​3. Never, ever judgeWhat I’ve really learned about friendship through all of this is that true friends will surprise you. One day the mega-wealthy friend you thought had forsaken you will ask you out to dinner. The acquaintance who read something nasty about you in the paper will phone you and your relationship will grow. People are unpredictable and making blind assumptions about them is rarely productive.To assume that a rich person only wants to associate with rich people would be wrong. So would the suggestion that a less wealthy person is a hanger-on who “wants something.” People are filled with infinite complexity and…yes…fallibility. The heart, above all things, is difficult to predict. You’re better off withholding judgment, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and reevaluating as your understanding of them evolves.More than anything else, I’ve found that my best friendships are with people whoI’vebeen real with. The ultimate truth of building lasting friendships is simple: to have friends worth binding to your soul, you have tobethat sort of friend too.Kristina Dodgeis a mother of four, entrepreneur, writer, and public speaker. She can be found online atwww.KristinaDodge.com.
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Best friends embracing

31 Days of Friendship

1. “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” ―Helen Keller2. Help a friend move.3. Read Chicken Soup for the Soul: Just Us Girls: 101 Stories about Friendship for Women of All Agesby Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Amy Newmark.4. Watch Beaches.5. Listen to “My Best Friend” by Weezer.6. “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ―Bob Marley7. Take your “best friend” for a walk.8. Read MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friendby Rachel Bertsche.9. Watch Goonies.10. Listen to “Count On Me” by Bruno Mars.11. “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” ―Abraham Lincoln12.Get the band back together.13. ReadBridge to Terabithiaby Katherine Paterson.14. Watch Marley & Me.15. Listen to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by Randy Newman.16. “Words are easy, like the wind. Faithful friends are hard to find.” ―William Shakespeare17. Start a supper club with your friends.18. Read Comrades: Brothers, Fathers, Heroes, Sons, Palsby Stephen Ambrose.19. Watch How I Met Your Mother.20. Listen to “We’re Going to Be Friends” by The White Stripes.21. “Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.” ―Richard Bach22. Have a Friends marathon.23. Read The Outsidersby S.E. Hinton.24. Watch The Help.25. Listen to “I’ll Stand by You” by The Pretenders.26. “Nobody can take ever take a friend’s place—nobody.” —Maya Angelou27. Invite everyone over for a game night.28. Read The Wind in the Willowsby Kenneth Grahame.29. Watch New Girl.30. Listen to “I’ll Be There” by The Jackson 5.31. “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art....It has no survival value; rather, it is one of those things that give value to survival.” —C.S. Lewis
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Flowers of Compassion

3 Crucial Building Blocks of Compassion

There are several practices, or strategies,that help us cultivate compassion, saysJan Hutton, a certified CompassionateListening facilitator who works with theCompassionate Listening Project.Together, they teach us to listen to theworld with a different ear, to see theother person’s humanity and to respondin a different way.1. Find peace in yourselfThe first step is being compassionate withyourself. “I have to own my own vulnerability as a human being and use itas a bridge to someone else’s heart,” Janexplains. “I have to acknowledge mywounds, acknowledge my mistakes,acknowledge that I’m human,acknowledge that I have limits. And Ihave to be gentle with myself.”Don’t beat yourself up or criticize yourselfwhen you make mistakes or don’t live upto your own or others’ expectations.Instead, simply remind yourself thatmistakes are something you share withevery other human on the planet. It’s abond that pulls all of us together.2. Listen and reflectListen with yourheart. When you talk with anotherperson, quiet your mind, focus on the them, look for a deeper point ofconnection and practice reflective listening. When someone explains howthey feel about something, Jan says, repeat it so they know you understandwho they are, what they think and whatthey feel.Expect—and accept withoutjudgment or comment—points of viewthat are widely divergent from your own.As the late Gene Knudsen Hoffman,founder of the Compassionate ListeningProject, wrote: “We must listen with aspiritual ear,” not the ones we usuallywalk through the world with.3. QuestionAsk friends to tell youstories and then follow up with questionsto encourage deeper thinking, such as“How has this situation affected yourlife?” “What was that like for you?” and“Can you tell me what life experience ledyou to feel this way?”The approach works in three ways: First,it helps us better understand someoneelse’s life story. Second, it allows usto sense our shared humanity. And,third, it helps us practice maintainingan attitude of acceptance so we avoidjudgments that are really results of our biases and fears.
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Overlapping hands

31 Days of Community

July is all about community.Join us as we continue our year of happiness with July and 31 days about community. Do, read, listen and think about the ideas on our list, and then share your favorites, below, in the Comments section. For more ideas, see our web article on 10 Ways to Build Community.1. “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”― Mother Teresa2. Help beautify your neighborhood.3. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity.4. Read Lake Wobegon Daysby Garrison Keillor.5. Watch TEDtalk: A life lesson from a volunteer firefighter, by Mark Bezos.6. Listen to “I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing,” by the The New Seekers7. “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ― Kurt Vonnegut8. Throw a block party.9. Volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters.10. ReadOn the Town: A Community Adventureby Judith Caseley.11. Listen to “One” byU2.12. “Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'" – Jimmy Fallon13. Thank a veteran for his or her service.14. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels.15. Read Richard Scarry's Busy, Busy Town.16. Watch TEDtalk: How to build with clay... and community, by Diébédo Francis Kéré.17. Listen to “Community Song,” by Have Fun Teaching.18. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.” —Rodney Dangerfield19. Donate food, gently worn clothes and old toys to a local shelter.20. Volunteer at the America Red Cross.21. Read The Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoodsby John McKnight.22. Watch Lean on Me.23. Listen to “Waiting on the World to Change,” by John Mayer24. “It’s not too late to rebuild the balance of life in our neighborhoods and cities, and in so doing, to build a more resilient future.” – Happy City: Transforming Our Lives Through Urban Designby Charles Montgomery25. Donate pet supplies to a local animal shelter.26. Read Cities on a Hill: A Brilliant Exploration of Visionary Communities Remaking the American Dream, by Frances Fitzgerald27. Watch Dr. Seuss' The Lorax.28. Listen to “This Land is Your Land,” by Woody Guthrie29. "Community helps makes you feel balanced. It makes you feel a connection with everyone." —Mariel Hemingway30. Take time out of your day to welcome a new neighbor to your street.31. Watch the TV seriesCommunity.
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