Thoughtful serious african professional business man sit with laptop thinking of difficult project challenge looking for problem solution searching creative ideas lost in thoughts at home office desk

Building Emotional Resilience When Dealing with Events Outside Your Control

There is a lot happening in our world today, and these last few years have spun us out of control. Anxiety is high anytime there is added uncertainty. Most of life is uncertain, that we can agree on. However, when our daily routines and the people, events, and circumstances we depend on for consistently are disrupted, how do we cope? The answer is through normalcy and celebration. Yes, as upsetting as this may seem to some, we must create and acknowledge life’s little joys, no matter how dire the circumstances. What works for you may not be what someone else needs. Can we stay open to allow others the experience and control they choose to create? We can, and our emotional intelligence will help. We can all increase or use our ability to understand, manage our emotions positively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Start with what we can control Recent events in Ukraine have forced families out of their homes, into shelters, and some into refugee camps. These events are the worst imaginable, and yet some still find life, love, happiness and joy through the smiles, songs being shared, and simple life events that are posted on social media. This is what so many fight for, work for, and believe in. The simple song of a young child being sung in her native tongue brought smiles, tears, connection, and a reprieve from the harshness of their current circumstance. A small kitten being rescued from a river with a willing participant and a cardboard box. Meals are cooked and shared. Many found care and concern for life still exists in our world. We are not a world only filled with disaster, hardship, and oppressiveness. There is a great need to find the simplest reason to smile, remember why so many are fighting for life and the life they are fighting for. This all is about what you can control. Often when in despair, we feel we have no control and therefore no hope. What is needed most in our times of struggle is just that, hope. Hope a future exists for us and loved, hope for the simplicities of life. Embrace all of your emotions This is not to say we as individuals, a society, and a world should not be reverent or respectful of suffering. We all process pain, disappointment, and disaster differently. The pandemic has created an atmosphere of survival and fear around the world. Many celebrations had to be put on hold, and some never happened. Birthdays, weddings, family reunions, even the celebration of the life of a loved one departed was taken. There has been a lot to feel sad about. Seeing people gathered in a small room with smiles on, a young girl proudly standing on a chair belting out “Frozen” during a crisis in her country warmed my heart as it did her onlookers and those with her. It was uplifting for sure. We all need moments to get out of the sadness, loss, and suffering. Being happy is a choice. Not one we want to make all the time or feel like we can. But we must keep happiness close at hand. We must provide opportunities for relief, moments of feeling hope, love, acceptance, and joy. We deal with events outside our control by controlling what we can We can’t control the weather, but I can plan for an umbrella. We can’t control another’s reaction, but we can control our behavior and make a choice for sharing love and joy. We can’t control a lot of life. This is not new. However, we reduce our frustration, stress, and anxiety by taking action on what we can control. For some, it will be a reminder that life is still good. For others, it will be a donation or a way to volunteer. For others, a vote. What can you control? What can you do that makes you feel just a little better? Maybe it will be watching a cat being rescued, a stranger donating a stroller or youthful reminder of a familiar song. We can choose to find moments of control, especially through connection and caring of others. We can choose to acknowledge a smile on another’s face and be reminded that there is hope, and happiness still exists. Stephanie Bolster McCannon is an Organizational Psychologist, published author of BolsterUp!: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Happy Healthy Human, and CEO of BolsterUp, a well-being coaching company that supports emotional, mental, and physical mastery.
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Nurse having headache and tired from work while wearing PPE suit for protect coronavirus disease. The wellbeing and emotional resilience are key components of maintaining essential care services.

How Resiliency and Wellness are Being Weaponized

Instead of doing more during a crisis period, give yourself permission to feel better during times of adversity. Recently we conducted a survey, asking people to describe how they were feeling today using one word. A resounding amount of people responded with the word 'DONE.' People have had enough. As a collective, we have all experienced varying degrees of micro and macro traumas since March 2020. We are permanently changed from living during COVID-19. We are seeing educators, health practitioners, and families pitted against one another. The divides around ideas, beliefs, values, and actions have become expansive. We are weary, wobbly, and discouraged. The feelings of numbness and hopelessness are a result from direct and indirect exposure to pain, suffering and uncertainty. It is hard to hold hope after such a long change season. And what is exasperating our collective weariness is being told that personal resiliency and self-care is the remedy. Band-Aids on Bullet Wounds Telling someone to be resilient or self-care themselves back to good when the world is on fire is like putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. It might stop the bleed for a millisecond, but the injury needs a proper intervention. As a scholar of resiliency and wellness, I am deeply concerned with how resiliency and wellness are being weaponized. Amid systems of corruption and deconstruction, plus social injustices, telling people to just be more resilient or up their self-care is cruel. The reality is that organizations, systems, and companies need also carry some responsibility in addressing the demands on their people. The demands are rising, and our supply of self-care is not proportionate. Professional care is also needed. Self-care is what we bring. Professional care is what an organization can do to mediate and address the stressors (more to come on that topic soon.) The Pace of Crisis Living Comes at a Cost We have experienced over 600 consecutive days of a crisis, yet many of our professional and personal roles and responsibilities still have us in the early crisis pace and mode. In the immediate aftermath of a crisis, people are on high-alert; change and responsive action are required. We are not future-focused. We are surviving at the moment and trying everything to minimize the blast radius. With all that is being asked of us, our plates are broken from the weight of everything, and now the platter we are balancing is starting to overflow too. We have moved from juggling watermelons blindfolded to juggling chainsaws on fire. I recently commented in a presentation that I feel as though I have brought a fruit roll-up to a knife fight. And in the weariness of our brains sizzling, our children missing key milestones, and being in another wave, WE feel we are not doing enough. We believe we are not resilient. Or maybe we are just tired of being resilient or living in systems that require this degree and scope of resiliency to cope. The Perpetual Loop of Waiting until Monday to Start As a behaviorist, I have a deep appreciation for the use of tools and strategies to help people adapt, cope, learn, and grow. I can also read the room, and I know the last thing people want right now is to do more. So, here is my invitation, let's try to take small, consistent, and purposeful steps towards looking after ourselves as we continue to work on regulating a hurting and broken world. This is for you to start to hold hope again. To believe that we will weather this storm and look after ourselves in the process. I invite you to give yourself permission to start feeling good again where you can, during this season of uncertainty and change, not waiting until afterwards to start getting back to those good feelings and thoughts. We are in a perpetual loop of waiting until Monday to feel better. This is a false promise we convince ourselves is true. Once I feel better, and the world is better, then I will be okay. We must find a way to be okay DURING the change season. This is for you, not the establishment. And what is terrific about this truth is that when you start feeling better, our perspective shifts from threat-tunnel focus to broader views, increasing problem-solving, critical thinking and innovation. And that is the mindset we need to solve the problems that are plaguing us right now. What are some of my program’s wise practices that can accomplish this? Let me tell you. Tools for Those Who Are Tired of Tools We are complex beings. We are feeling-factories who entertain over 65,000 thoughts per day. It takes a herculean effort to balance our emotional lives when we also factor in impulses, drives, lived experiences, pressures, a boss, with a side of occupational loneliness while also celebrating our familial roles, pets, oh and getting ready for the holidays! And yet, we still strive for a clean house too. Simply start where you can: I surrendered my need for a clean house to a clean kitchen, and it has done wonders! Who says this needs to look or be done this way? Challenge the belief that everything needs to be in order and perfect. Ask for help where you can. There is no shame in asking for help when the weight of your world cannot be supported with your two hands. When we are in a constant state of doing and giving, it may be hard to receive. Some may feel like it is easier just to do it yourself than explain to someone how to help. Pick your priorities and let the other things be good-enough-for now. Find micro-breaks where you can: There is no one coming to rescue us. We don't need saving. We need 5 minutes in solitude to drink a hot coffee or one great podcast that helps name what we feel and inspires us to keep going. Take 5 when and wherever you can. Hold empathy for yourself as you would for others: As you show kindness and gratitude for others, please share that with yourself. It is by showing empathy and compassion for ourselves that it can then flow onto others. You are entitled to a bad day. That doesn’t make you an ungrateful person. Recognize dual truths: You can love your life and need to cry. You can love your job and fantasize about owning an animal sanctuary. You can love the holidays and be looking forward to January. Honor all the behaviors! Even those maladaptive behaviours that are helping you cope; Thank you Netflix, rompers, pets, chocolate, venting sessions with that dear friend and Ted Lasso. Every behaviour serves a purpose. You do not have to fix anything or everything today or ever. You don’t have to grow, heal, and achieve every second of your life. Go for the ONE thing that will make you feel like you are living your values. Maybe it is reading a story to a child. Or perhaps it is getting a gift to the local toy drive. Or making time to walk your dog. Each day make sure that ONE thing is getting done. Often our value-based behaviours fall to the bottom of the never-ending list. Honor how much you have gone through and grown through. List all the things that you have discovered and learned about yourself these last 20 months. Celebrate it all. Give yourself credit and recognition for what you have done and continue to do. You may have also brought a fruit roll-up to this knife fight, but thankfully we are using our words, and it looks like we are going to walk away from this alive! Described as one of the most sought-after, engaging, thought-provoking, and truly transformative international speakers and scholars in her field, Dr. Robyne is a multi-award-winning education and psychology instructor, author, and resiliency. Dr. Robyne’s maiden book, Calm Within The Storm: A Pathway to Everyday Resiliency, released in March 2021, is now in its third print as it makes its way into the hearts and practices of people around the globe.
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Choice concept. Woman standing between arrows showing different directions. Go forward or go back, Move Ahead

3 Ways to Move Forward

The mental health costs of COVID-19 and related crises have been staggering. According to the CDC, in the U.S. the number of adults with anxiety/depression has risen from 8% in September 2019 to 41.5% in February 2021. Neuroscience says there is every reason to be optimistic about turning this tide back and achieving resilience, or the ability to thrive amidst adversity. How we manage our expectations as we move forward is a critical component of restoring our emotional wellness and ability to thrive. The moment the pandemic became real for you, your amygdala took your entire body to a state of constant hyperarousal flooding your body with cortisol and other chemicals that exhausted your brain and body. This created an on-going experience of a toxic stew of emotions from sadness to anger to frustration to feeling isolated and on and on. Anything you experience for 60 – 70 days literally rewires the brain. Our amygdala’s have kept us hyper aroused for far more than 70 days, rewiring our brain to make disturbing emotions our automatic reaction to any perceived threat. Here are three ways to rewire your brain as we move forward. Practice them consistently to restore your sense of calm and confidence and ability to thrive. 1. Practice Acceptance Accept developing anxiety, depression and burnout as natural responses to this incredibly challenging environment. That’s why so many of us are experiencing anxiety and depression disorders. It’s very disturbing and it interferes with our ability to function well. It is not a sign that there is something inherently wrong with you or those around you. Accepting that your current mental state is a natural response means you cut off the negative self-talk: “What’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I handle this?” You restore room for helpful, hopeful thoughts, creating space to see that you will gain the ability to thrive—not just survive. 2. Move Forward, Don’t Return COVID-19 has changed every aspect of everyone’s life around the globe. We can’t go back to the way things were. It’s just not possible. Talking about going back to normal, returning to school, going back to work is like giving a booster shot to your amygdala. You are giving it more power to continue the neurological hijacking of your emotions and thoughts. A quick example. A local school district just “reopened.” From the moment kids got on the bus wearing masks and sitting in every other row—there was nothing about it that was a “return” to normal. Sitting behind plexiglass, kids struggled to hear teachers and classmates. Hallways were disturbingly quiet as anxious kids tried to get to their next class. At the end of the first day, one 17-year-old senior said, “I don’t know what that was but it wasn’t school.” The talk of “returning” had set hopeful expectations for the enjoyment of some senior year rituals—like field trips to amusement parks, proms, and graduations filled with hugs. The actual experiences crushed those hopes. Talk about moving forward into new ways of working, learning, and living. Not “returning”—creating a new world. 3. Build Your Pragmatic Optimism Take control of your expectations by consistently answering the following three questions for yourself, family and friends, and co-workers. • Will this last forever? No. Every trusted expert agrees COVID-19 will be driven into submission. We will create new and better jobs. In fact, the rest of this decade has already been termed the “Soaring Twenties.” • Will we lose everything? We have all lost a lot. People were lost to COVID-19. Jobs and family businesses are gone. Yet we gained some important things to be mindful about: we are more empathetic with each other; some of us have become closer to family and friends; what’s really important in life is clearer. • How can I use my experience, talent and motivation to move forward? Each day find a way to make things a bit better. Some days it will be big things, like helping someone find a new job. Some days it will be small things, like helping your 80-year-old neighbor take her garbage out. Together, we move forward to thrive!
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Thai cave rescue

3 Inspiring Lessons From the Thai Soccer Team Rescue

For 17 days, the eyes of the world were on Thailand. There, 12 young men, ages 11–16, were trapped in a pitch-black, flooded cave with the very real possibility of never coming out alive. As I reflected on their incredible rescue story, I couldn’t help but hear whisperings of ancient wisdom—wisdom steeped in powerful spiritual and ethical teachings that still ring true today. A sign outside the cave warns visitors not to enter during the months of July through November, the area's monsoon season. Assistant soccer coach Ekkapol (“Ake”) Chantawong had taken his team to the Tham Luang cave earlier in December. This time, a week before July, he took them there after a day’s soccer practice to celebrate one of the boy’s birthday, planning to stay for just an hour. Mother Nature had a different plan, though; a flash rainstorm drove them deeper inside the cave. It was this one seemingly simple act that proved to be an extreme example of how our every action takes place in a dynamic chain of countless reactions and interactions. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once referred to our being bound together in an inescapable network of mutuality. In Thailand, they might call it the network of karma. In a matter of days, a simple visit to a cave mobilized 10,000 people—including 2,000 soldiers, 200 divers and representatives from 100 government agencies. The lesson to be learned? Our lives are not separate; one life can affect tens and hundreds of thousands. Now, let’s take a look at how the parents responded to the coach’s actions. In Western societies, placing blame is often the go-to response. Yet, here, the parents acknowledged the imperfection of the situation, and then went on to express their gratitude to Coach Ake for caring for their sons. This is interesting. Perhaps it’s because Thailand is 95 percent Buddhist. For them, it’s about getting clear about their purpose in life, building an enlightened society together, and attaining liberation from needless suffering rather than becoming attached to outrage, blame and fear. They wanted to get on with their lives, and let Coach Ake begin anew and do the same. As famous radio host Bernard Meltzer once put it, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past, but you sure do change the future.” Compassion and forgiveness can be more invaluable than recrimination and litigation. It’s the third lesson this survival story reveals that is the real keeper for me. Put simply, hope is real. Looking back, there were doubts at first that there’d be survivors. Then, once they were finally located (by smell, in fact), it was determined that the delicate, dangerous maneuver would involve navigating nearly 2 miles underwater. There was even talk of the rescue possibly taking months. And yet, more and more people came together, saying, “No. We have to turn around what you may call Mission Impossible into Mission Possible. Failure is not an option.” To what do we attribute this awesome resolve in the face of dicey, adverse odds? The intention here is clear: “Let’s save the kids.” Whether or not the growing members of the rescue team had kids of their own, they recognized these children as their very own. And as the world watched, they became our children, too. What rallied the Thai people and motivated others to quickly join hands across 15 nations can give all of us hope. I know I personally need that sense of fearless courage, optimistic determination and clear-headed resilience in my life right now. It’s true, too, for many of my friends during these uncertain times. Our hearts know of a better world; we saw confirmation in the Thai cave of how that world is possible. May we all continue to draw from the healing, transformative watershed of courage, hope, resilience and community which the good news in Thailand has nourished in tens of millions of hearts around the world.
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Sprigs coming through the ground.

Survivors of the Year’s Disasters Find Resilience, Hope

Furious wildfires. Destructive earthquakes. Mass shootings. As 2017 comes to an end, survivors of natural and manmade catastrophes are reaching deep inside themselves to gather the strength to rebuild their lives. It will take time. “There’s no quick fix for devastation,” says Ken Druck, Ph.D., expert on healing after loss and author of Courageous Aging and The Real Rules of Life. There’s no single path to recovery either, but receiving support from family, friends and community, letting your emotions run their course and feeling gratitude for what you’ve got all help, say experts and survivors. People who suffer catastrophic loss are utterly broken at that moment, says Ken, who learned lessons of loss when his 21-year-old daughter died in a bus crash in India in 1996. “The best way you can help is to have faith in them; know that they will someday have the ability to prevail, to survive the devastating losses that they’ve suffered.” A Year to Remember There were plenty of losses in 2017. Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria killed more than 260 people and destroyed or damaged more than 200,000 mainland U.S. homes and thousands more in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. A 7.1-magnitude earthquake in October killed at least 369 and damaged or destroyed 23,000 homes and other buildings in Mexico City and the state of Morelos, the quake’s epicenter. Northern California wildfires damaged or destroyed more than 14,700 homes and killed at least 43 people in October. And as this piece was going to press, more wildfires raged in Southern California, driving thousands of people from their homes. Additionally, mass shootings in Las Vegas; Sutherland Springs, Texas; Corning, California; and other places left at least 140 dead and hundreds injured. “In every one of these communities, people have come together to help each other in unprecedented ways,” Ken says. “All of us are wired differently. Some people will find the strength within themselves to bounce back; others will need more help.” One Family in a Flood One Texas family grateful for support they received says the experience changed their lives. Becky and Steven Sapaugh were among the estimated 13,000 people rescued from Texas homes flooded by Hurricane Harvey. “Our entire neighborhood was flooded out,” Becky, 59, says of her 709-home gated subdivision in Katy, just west of Houston. “We have a two-story home, and everything on the bottom and three cars in our driveway—everything was completely demolished.” Before Harvey struck, the Sapaughs had stocked up with food and supplies and prepared to ride out the storm at home while listening to weather updates on their battery-powered radio. “We’ve been in the area for 30 years, so we felt very safe where we were, extremely safe, and we always had a second floor. We just decided to stay there like almost everyone in that part of the city.” On Saturday, Aug. 19, power was out but Harvey’s rains paused for a couple hours. Water that had crept into the Sapaughs’ yard drained completely. Family called and offered to put them up. “We said, ‘No, we’re going to stay here.’” By Sunday, gushing rain and reports of water rising along a nearby reservoir dam got them thinking about leaving, but it was too late. “When I woke up, it was like a waterfall was right outside my house,” Becky says. It sounded like rushing water was just falling from the sky.” The street leading out of their neighborhood was flooded. “You could not go right; you could not go left. They already had it blocked off by the police because water was so high out there.” But by Monday morning, when the Army Corps of Engineers started releases from a nearby reservoir, water rushed to their front porch. “That’s when we knew it was going to come in the house. That’s when we knew we were trapped with everyone in the neighborhood,” says Becky. Alerted by her daughter and her church that the Sapaughs were in the house, volunteers with a boat later knocked on their front door. “Are you Steven and Becky Sapaugh? We’re here to rescue you,” Becky recalls them saying. Volunteers lifted Becky, who has muscular dystrophy and can’t walk far, into the boat with her dog. Her husband followed, carrying just a backpack full of belongings and wading through waist-deep water as they made their way to the part of the neighborhood where bigger boats could evacuate them to safety. The Sapaughs stayed at their daughter’s Houston home, which didn’t flood, and now are in a company-paid apartment while they get back on their feet. About 10 days passed before they could first see their water-damaged home again. “The experience itself, although it was traumatic, sad and frightening—we have a very strong faith in Jesus Christ, and we would have never made it without our faith in God,” Becky says. “I started rethinking about how all of these strangers, the people I met all through the rescue process. That made me start realizing how much people care about each other and that made me want to help.” Her husband’s office gave employees time off to volunteer to aid flood victims. “His department came to our house, and they basically gutted the entire first floor. I mean everything—the sheetrock, appliances—everything is out of it and ready for rebuilding.” They recently signed loan papers for the project. “God gave us so many people that have been generous…and we have been so grateful. I am rebuilding my home, I have a roof over my head, my family is alive. A lot of people lost a lot more than we did and won’t get it back.” The Importance of Community Community support “absolutely helps” you recover, says Kevin Baughman, who with wife Janet lived on the outskirts of Santa Rosa, California. In October, wildfire flames roared down a ridge, consuming their retirement dream home that included a small vineyard, little winery and a guest house. They had lived in the home about seven years and had created many memories there. “I even had pictures of my granddaughter punching down grapes in the winery,” Kevin says. Flames devoured the pictures and nearly everything else they owned. On the evening of Oct. 8, wind-driven smoke permeated the air as Kevin put the chickens away in their coop for the night. He settled in the house’s front room so smoke could wake him if dangerous flames approached. Janet stayed in the master bedroom in the back of the house. Shortly after midnight, says Kevin, a loud, odd boom rousted him from a dreamy half-sleep. When he walked out front to investigate, he could see the ridge opposite their house smothered in orange-glowing smoke. “I knew there was a fire and it was pushing in our direction,” Kevin recalls. He went in, woke his wife, and by the time they returned to the front of the house a couple minutes later, the flames were coming down the opposite ridge. “It was crystal clear what I had to do; I didn’t feel muddled,” Kevin says. Yet he first grabbed the wrong keys to a nearby fire gate and roared off in their Ford F-250 pickup, honking his horn to alert neighbors to the swiftly approaching blaze. After returning to grab the right keys and opening the fire gate to back roads that would lead them out of the fiery hills, he spent nearly 20 minutes waking neighbors. He banged loudly on the windows at the home of one elderly man he knew took sleeping pills as his wife was in a care home and he had trouble sleeping. By the time Kevin got home, flames were down the ridge. His wife packed the pickup and he grabbed a few things. They headed to his son’s Santa Rosa home, where they were safe for a day until fire forced evacuation from there. However, his son’s home survived, and Kevin and Janet live there too, now, participating in life and babysitting whilst planning to rebuild the home they lost. At first, Kevin says, he felt disbelief, like it wasn’t really happening. “Looking back on it now, I ask myself why I thought my house would have a chance of making it. This is something you read about in the newspaper. It’s not going to happen to you.” Realization came when friends in search-and-rescue were clearing the neighborhood—looking for people who might have perished in the blaze—saw the house and told him it was gone. “It’s overwhelming. It felt like my brain got whacked. For the first week, it was like a record player stuck in a circle. You carry on normally. Maybe you have a conversation with somebody. You’re continually processing, but maybe you talk about a tool, you think, ‘I have that tool’ and then realize, ‘Oh, no I don’t!’” Everything got muddled and he was not sleeping well. Eventually Kevin came to terms with losing irreplaceable family heirlooms such as jewelry, clocks from the 1800s and a Winchester rifle from the Indian Wars. “Things you won’t have. What’s real is family around you, your faith and memories that you have. Feeling that is what made it easier,” Kevin says. “Besides, it’s tough to feel sorry for yourself when your 4-year-old granddaughter is running down the hall with a book she wants to be read.” How We Accept and Move On Brett Ford, assistant professor at the University of Toronto psychology department and director of the school’s Affective Science & Health Laboratory, has studied the psychological health benefits of accepting negative emotions and thoughts. Feeling negative is a natural response to stressors such as natural and manmade disasters, she says. “Although wanting to get rid of our negative emotions feels normal and is an automatic response for many of us, it can in fact be futile or counterproductive,” Brett says. “Simply realizing this—and interrupting our habitual responses to our own emotions—might be helpful.” Brett offers several strategies for recovering from tragedy. · When times are tough and you’re feeling angry, worried, sad—try to simply let your feelings happen. · Allow yourself to experience your feelings, without judging those feelings, and without trying to control or change them. · Let your feelings run their course. For example, you could tell yourself that there is no right or wrong way to respond, that these feelings are a natural response, or that your feelings are like clouds passing by that you don’t need to control. After Tragedy “Sometimes we feel like a victim,” says Ken, “whether we feel like it’s karma, God punishing us, bad luck, whatever our theory. Really, sometimes bad things happen to good people. There’s joy and miracles and boundless happiness and bliss, but there’s also suffering and sorrow, setbacks, moments of emptiness and lost-ness, and this is all part of life.” Kevin concurs, noting that he viewed the fires “in the realm of an act of God.” “If you live long enough, bad stuff is going to happen to you,” he says. “The West will deal with wildfires; the Midwest, sheet ice; other places, hurricanes. There’s not a place you can go where you’re completely safe,” Kevin says. This past year’s disasters are good reminders that you should do at least a little planning, says Kevin. “You take for granted what you have and are experiencing, and think it will go on forever. It doesn’t. A spouse dies, divorce happens, a house burns down. You never plan for that.” “We’ve become very contented with the way things are, we don’t want to think about a disaster, like Florida, Texas and California. But a little bit of forethought, as simple as setting down what are you going to grab in an emergency, like the computer or family jewels, would help.” Some of the things they had left behind included Kevin’s wife’s engagement ring, and a gold watch Kevin’s mom had given to his father. Returning to the burned ruins of his home, Kevin donned a hazmat suit and respirator, sat on the edge of the foundation and peered at the ash. He reached down and found a blob of beaded, melted jewelry with the engagement ring stuck to it. Going back to where he thought the closet had been, he turned over a shovelful of fire debris. That first shovelful held the watch melted into a blob in 2,000-degree fire. “It was barely recognizable,” says Kevin, “but I knew it was my dad’s gold watch that mom had given him years and years ago.” Jim Gold is a veteran journalist living in California. Savannah Mehrtens is a journalism student in her junior year at Texas A&M University.
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A winning college baseball team.

How to Win Like an Underdog

Until June 30, 2016, Coastal Carolina University had never won a national championship in any sport. That all changed in Game 3 of the College World Series at Omaha’s TD Ameritrade Park. In the bottom of the ninth inning, pitcher Alex Cunningham struck out Arizona’s Ryan Haug—securing the title win for the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers and giving the first-time College World Series participants the chance to raise the coveted trophy. “I completely blacked out for a solid two-and-a-half minutes,” Alex says. “I saw myself on the interview, and I don’t even remember taking that interview.” His excitement is understandable, especially when you consider that no College World Series team had won the title in its first appearance in the finals in 60 years. “From the day we walked in there, we were kinda playing with house money,” says Gary Gilmore, Chanticleers head coach. “There weren’t a whole lot of expectations by all of the prognosticators—we were big-time underdogs in that whole deal.” Yet Gary and his coaching staff focused on factors outside of others’ expectations. “There are so many things that we can’t control,” Gary says. “The things we can, we want to be in complete control of: things like our preparation, how we do things to get ready for the game—things as simple as what time we go to bed at night. We don’t let the situation become bigger than life to us.” Take the pressure off One way the team maintained focus was simply by relaxing. “I don’t think anyone on our team felt pressure,” Gary says. A big reason for that: Gary discovered a newfound calmness in his coaching career last year, a trait he says came over him once he started reading the Bible every day. “I think the calmer I was, the calmer the team was,” Gary says. “There were several times in the playoffs when we did dumb things, and maybe five or 10 years ago, I would have come in the dugout and slung a helmet, let out some profanity and blown off steam. This time, I’d say, ‘Hey guys, not a problem. We’ll get them the next inning.’ ” After a hard loss in Game 1, Gary remembers praying for the right words to say to his crew. He walked into the locker room and started clapping in front of his bewildered team. “I told them that I was in the locker room of a national champion, and here’s what we’re going to do for the next two days.” Gary relayed who would pitch, who would relieve and what kind of success they were going to have. “I knew I had to make them believe that we could do it. We had lost, but we weren’t out.” And believing, it turns out, made all the difference. “Talent is on a piece of paper,” Gary explains. “We weren’t the most talented team there, but we played the best. I’ve coached one or two other teams that on paper had significantly more talent. And yet this team found a way to make it work.” Root, root, root for the underdog It’s no secret that most people love to pull for the underdog. Countless studies have backed up this phenomenon, including one published in 2007 in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. When 71 participants were asked which imaginary team—one ranked higher than the other—they hoped would prevail in an Olympic swimming event, 75 percent said they preferred to see the lower-ranked team win. “People love to be awed and inspired,” says Caroline Miller, a certified professional coach and author of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit. “It’s built into our DNA.” She says the inspiration we feel when we see people outperform themselves causes us to release oxytocin, frequently referred to as the “love hormone”—which makes it easy to see why we get so attached to underdogs. This affinity for the “little guy” extends beyond sports. Southwest Airlines, Apple and even political candidates have gained notoriety and loyal followings due to underdog status. That makes you wonder: What if we could tap into the mindset of underdogs? What enables them to overcome the odds, and how can it be developed? In his 2013 book David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, Malcolm Gladwell explains how we often overlook the advantages that go along with being an underdog. He writes: “It can open doors and create opportunities and educate and enlighten and make possible what might otherwise have seemed unthinkable.” How sweet it is It turns out, we can learn a lot from all types of underdogs—whether we’re talking about a College World Series team or two self-described “hippiedippy” 20-somethings with a love of ice cream and breaking the rules. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield met while running track in seventh grade gym class, the two slowest of the pack—quite fitting for the duo, as their underdog status would follow them into adulthood and eventually be their claim to fame. By the mid-1970s, Jerry had tried unsuccessfully to get into medical school, while Ben had dropped out of college and attempted to become a potter—only no one wanted to buy his pottery. The solution: They liked hanging out, and they liked eating, so they decided to go into the food business together. Their two favorite foods were ice cream and bagels, and since the machinery required for bagel-making came with a much heftier price tag than that of ice cream, the decision was simple. At war with a behemoth In 1978, Ben & Jerry’s first scoop shop opened in Burlington, Vermont, and beloved flavors like Chunky Monkey were born. As their local popularity began to grow, the pair began to package their ice cream into pint containers and sell it to restaurants and mom-and-pop shops. By the early 1980s, they had set their sights on their first major market: Boston. As they approached store owners there, they learned that business representatives from Haagen-Dazs—which sold to the same supermarkets—had issued an ultimatum to store owners: If they agreed to sell Ben and Jerry’s product, then they would not sell them Haagen-Dazs, a major moneymaker for the distributors. Ben and Jerry filed a class action lawsuit against Pillsbury, Haagen-Dazs’ parent company, but drawn-out legal battles weren’t a viable option for the small company. They knew they would run out of financial resources before the more established business. So what’s an underdog to do? “Ben and I learned to use every tool possible as underdogs, and the biggest resource we had was people,” Jerry says. “We didn’t have money. We didn’t have size to leverage. We had the opportunity to use our people to make a difference.” And so they got creative. The company launched the storied “What’s the Doughboy Afraid of?” campaign, taking out signs on buses, designing T-shirts and including an 800-number on the product packaging. Customers who called were treated to an answering machine message of the co-founders explaining the situation. If they left their address, a campaign bumper sticker was mailed to them. Taking their underdog cause to the streets ignited a passionate following, and Pillsbury soon backed down due to public pressure. These days, Ben & Jerry’s, which became a Unilever subsidiary in 2000, operates some 600 scoop shops in 35 countries. The company maintains an independent board of directors to “ensure we’re making the best ice cream possible in the best way possible,” as stated on benjerry.com. “There’s a curiosity that helps when we’re in that underdog mindset,” explains Michelle McQuaid, best-selling author and workplace well-being teacher. “It goes hand-in-hand with the strength of creativity and being willing to try new ways of doing things, rather than accepting that there’s only one path to success.” Also key to an underdog’s success is maintaining that mindset even after finding success. “In terms of what we spend on marketing and sales, there hasn’t been a significant change from when we were a small underdog business,” says Sean Greenwood, the “grand poobah” of public relations for Ben & Jerry’s and a nearly 30-year employee. “That forces us to be creative and keeps pushing us to use that underdog mindset in the marketplace.” Ben and Jerry didn’t fit the mold of your typical businessmen when they launched their ice cream business nearly 40 years ago—and it has made all the difference. “Embrace who you are and make that your strength,” Jerry says. “We wanted to be ice cream ‘for the people,’ and not an elegant treat just for some. Hold on to your beliefs. If you don’t like the way the model is, then think about changing the model to fit who you are.” A growth mindset Everyone has had moments of success—those times when we’ve pulled something off that we’ve been working really hard toward. Our brain is flooded with happy endorphins, and we never want the feeling to end. What we probably don’t realize, though, is that the high we gain from continued wins can be incredibly addictive. An interesting thing happens when we become accustomed to success. “Neurologically, it changes some things in our brain,” Michelle says. “We start to attach our success to our sense of identity. Then we can begin to fear if we’re not the winner, who does that mean we are?” That’s where underdogs have the upper hand, since they’re not burdened with that addiction to success. “The underdog mindset takes the pressure down,” Michelle says. “It changes the way our brains are working chemically, and it opens us up for learning and growth.” Taking the focus off winning and instead turning our attention toward learning and development is what psychologists call having a growth mindset—a key ingredient to an underdog’s success. Underdogs try harder Louisa Jewell, a well-being teacher and founder of the Canadian Positive Psychology Association, says this kind of thinking actually feeds winning behavior. “When you’re an underdog with a growth mindset, you think ‘I don’t have it yet. If I work harder, if I practice more, if I persevere in the face of obstacles, I can get better.’ ” A fixed mindset, on the other hand, leads people to believe they either have it or they don’t—not leaving much room for improvement. “When we have a fixed mindset around our talents, then it doesn’t really propel us into action,” Louisa says. “It doesn’t really motivate us toward behaviors that allow us to work harder and believe that we could one day be the winner.” Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, Ph.D., is a leading researcher on growth mindset. In her research, she discovered that high achievers without a growth mindset eventually plateau and achieve less than they’re capable of because the anxiety tied to their previous successes becomes overwhelming, leading them to stop taking risks. Those with a growth mindset, however, go on to achieve high levels of success in all areas of their lives since they understand that it’s best to keep learning and growing. “It’s not that we don’t love a good outcome when we’re in a growth mindset,” Michelle explains. “We just prioritize the learning over the outcome. The funny thing is, the less we attach to the outcome, the more likely we usually are to get the desired outcome.” According to Caroline, people are often further motivated when they don’t quite get to the finish line the first time around—a concept researchers refer to as the psychology of the near miss, which is a type of failure that comes close to being a success. Take Alex, who before throwing the winning pitch in the 2016 College World Series had lost his high school state championship game three years in a row. “That definitely lit a fire in me that hadn’t gone away until that final pitch of the World Series,” Alex says. Like Alex, those who have authentic grit—another ingredient to an underdog’s success—will be inspired to come back and work harder. Caroline describes authentic grit as the passionate pursuit of hard goals that allows us to take responsible risks and promotes flourishing. “There’s a modicum of failure in everything that we try to achieve,” Gary says. “If you stay with it, every time you get knocked down gives you that much more resilience to come back and fight twice as hard.” Underdogs—and anyone striving for their goals—must also have a strong support system, Gary says. “All of us fail at really anything we try to do in life the majority of the time. We’ve got to have help from above, great friends and great family there to support us.” Don't worry, be happy Studies show us that for athletes to perform at their best, it helps for them to have fun and play in a carefree way. “Carefree doesn’t mean careless or caring less,” says Mike Margolies, chief operating officer of Mental Training Inc. and author of The Athlete Within You. “It means you’re focused on being present.” Think about it this way: Top dogs are usually in a no-win situation. If they win, that was expected. If they don’t, it’s a huge upset. Those in the favored position are under more pressure so they don’t always perform at their best—an advantage to the underdog. “An underdog’s confidence will start to rise because their expectations are pretty low,” Mike explains. “That means they’re going to play at a higher level because they can play carefree.” Winning for the underdog is a bonus, since they don’t face the same scrutiny as the top dog. “It was easy for us to play with confidence because we didn’t have that bar already set for us,” Alex says. “We were just having the time of our lives. There were no expectations to live up to.” Don't forget your 'why' The benefits of having fun aren’t limited to sports. In 1979, one year after being in business, Ben & Jerry’s developed two company philosophies: one focused on giving back to the community, and the second being, “If it’s not fun, why do it?” This importance on having fun is still a huge part of the company’s DNA, but the philosophy was phrased as a question on purpose. The co-founders say there were times with their startup business when 80-hour workweeks were the norm and fun wasn’t always on the agenda. The key is to know why you’re doing it. “You have to have a sense of passion,” Michelle says. “It’s really hard to persist as an underdog if what we’re chasing isn’t meaningful to us, because otherwise falling down just gets too painful for most of us.” Whether it’s launching a business, winning a sports title or achieving the countless other goals that lie within us, we’ve all probably felt at one point like insurmountable odds might get in the way. Luckily, lessons learned from successful underdogs can help guide us on our own paths to success. “If you’re going to be elite, every now and then you’re going to have to be an underdog,” Caroline says. “If you’re an underdog, it means you’re definitely not guaranteed a win—you’re shooting for the moon. Everyone should learn how to do that.” Amanda Gleason writes regularly for Live Happy magazine. Check out her other stories The Birthday Party Project Gives Homeless Kids a Day to Sparkle and Make-a-Wish: Where Science and Hope Meet.
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Noah Galloway

Noah Galloway Is Living With No Excuses

Some people will bump up against a minor obstacle and find it overwhelming, while others can survive horrific circumstances and embrace life in the aftermath with incredible courage and fierce determination. Noah Galloway is firmly in the second camp. A member of the Army’s 101st Airborne Division, Noah was three months into his second tour of duty during Operation Iraqi Freedom in December 2005 when he was severely injured by an improvised explosive device (IED). He lost his left arm above the elbow and his left leg above the knee; his right leg and jaw were badlyinjured. Having fought his way back from both the physical and mental wounds he sustained, the father of three is now a personal trainer, model and motivational speaker. Noah stars on Fox TV’s American Grit, where he and three other veterans lead teams competing in a series of challenges modeled after military training exercises. “I love working with people, so that excited me, and it’s been absolutely amazing,” he says. He also garnered national attention for his inspiring performances on season 20 of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars, where he finished third with professional dance partner Sharna Burgess. “I’m always pushing people to take on challenges with no excuses,” Noah says, “and I can’t think of anything more challenging than dancing in front of 15 million people on television. So I thought, ‘If I’m going to talk the talk, I better walk the walk.’ ” Connections count Still, the role he relishes most in life is being a dad to sons Colston, 11, and Jack, 8, and 6-year-old daughter Rian—tossing a Frisbee, going fishing or just hanging outdoors. Jack recently had an assignment at school to write a report on an influential figure and present it as that person. “They were all lined up in the hallway and they gave their little speech,” Noah says. “Some were presidents. One was Elvis Presley. My son chose to be Noah Galloway. It’s choking me up just talking about it. When I walked into the hallway and saw him, it was everything I could do not to cry. If my 15 minutes are up, and nobody ever wants to talk to me again, that’s  ne as long as I’ve done right by my kids.” Noah says his children continue to motivate him to try new things and are his greatest joy in life. “I think of them first in every decision I make, and I make sure that whatever I’m doing is going to benefit them in some way. No matter what a bad day I’m having, one of them is going to say or do something that is going to cheer me up.” He adds that the relationship he has with them is stronger because of what he’s been through. Finding purpose “When I woke up in the hospital I was unaware what had happened,” the 34-year-old recalls of that Christmas Eve 11 years ago. “My parents were walking into the room. I saw them and knew that I was somewhere safe or they would not be there. I had no idea what condition I was in, and it was my mom who told me that I had lost my arm and my leg.” The Birmingham, Alabama, native enlisted in the Army after Sept. 11, 2001, wanting to serve his country. Noah has no regrets about that decision, but after he was injured he struggled with depression. His first marriage crumbled, and he spent a lot of time smoking, drinking and sleeping. His second marriage also ended. “I went through a couple years of depression. I felt like I had no purpose,” he says. “I never regretted going into the military or what happened to me. [I was] a little upset I lost two limbs, but I think what terrified me was the future. “I didn’t know what it was. I like making sure I’m taking care of others, and I thought if I was injured, I couldn’t do that. Once I realized I still needed to be a father to my children, then I had purpose again. I found that even with my injury, I wanted to help other people; I get that from my mom. Once I got that sense of purpose back, my life turned back around. Everything has just gotten better and better with each day.” Noah emphasizes that you don’t have to lose two of your limbs to experience depression. “It is real,” he says. “The mind is a very complex organ. If I break my leg, I’d go to the doctor. It baffles me that here it is 2016 and it’s not completely socially acceptable for someone to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist.” Noah’s parents also gave him a positive foundation and were great examples of how to flourish despite life’s many challenges. He acknowledges that his dad’s life helped prepare him for his circumstances. “My father has one arm. When he was 18, he worked in a plant and lost his arm,” Noah says. “I’ve never seen him with two hands. He doesn’t wear a prosthetic and he’s done construction my entire life, so I learned there’s no reason you can’t do something. My father just kept driving on even with an injury that could have stopped someone else, and he took on manual labor. He didn’t want to sit in an office at a desk. Seeing all that growing up definitely played a huge part in who I am today.” Walking the walk Noah created the No Excuses Charitable Fund to raise money and awareness for causes dear to his heart—Operation Enduring Warrior, the YMCA in Alabaster, Alabama, and Homes for Our Troops, which provides specially adapted homes for injured veterans. “Since my injury, I have worked with so many different organizations and people who have been so supportive of me,” he says. “I don’t think it’s right to go up the ladder alone. You take as many people as you can with you, and so many people have been there for me. I wanted to do something that was giving back. “Life isn’t going to be perfect and things are going to happen,” Noah says. “But when you figure out how to work around those things, it actually makes life more enjoyable. You learn, and that’s what life is about.” Noah Galloway’s book, Living With No Excuses: The Remarkable Rebirth of an American Soldier, was published in August by Hachette Book Group.
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Olympic Mountain Biker Lea Davison

Lea Davison Finds Meaning on the Mountain Bike

Mountain biker Lea Davison competed at her first Olympic Games in 2012 in London, and she’s on track to race again this summer in Rio. In London, she was just happy to make the team after rebounding from a serious hip injury that benched her for an entire season. “Just making it to the Olympics was a dream come true. Everyone says that, but it’s true,” says Lea, who’s 33 and from Jericho, Vermont. “To say I’m an Olympian has been my goal since I was a kid.” She, too, knew that if she was going to perform her best at the Olympics, she had to forget about all the hype—the pressure from the crowds, the media, her sponsors. “I was nervous for months beforehand, but you have to get that out of the way. On the morning of the race, I was able to be calm,” Lea says. “You try to treat it like any other race. Sure, there’s a lot of hoopla surrounding it—it’s the Olympics. But I just kept reminding myself, ‘This is just another bike race. You know how to do this.’” She ended up 11th place in women’s mountain biking and says walking into the closing ceremony alongside her American teammates was her proudest moment. “To hear the roar of the crowd was very powerful,” she says. “Seeing your country behind you and all of that support, it was just quite a moment.” Finding authentic happiness When Lea was a college student at a liberal arts school in Vermont, she took a positive psychology course. In the class, Lea, who grew up ski racing and started mountain biking competitively in high school, read Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, Ph.D. She learned about the three dimensions of happiness, as described in the book. First is the simplest form, which Martin calls the pleasant life—Lea describes this as “eating a Girl Scout cookie and being happy for the next 10 minutes.” The second state, called the good life, is about finding your own strengths and using them to improve your life. Lea says she found this easily when she discovered mountain biking. “You have to be present and in the moment when you’re navigating these trails and courses,” she says. The third and deepest level of happiness Martin calls the meaningful life, which is when we use our powers for the greater good. That, Lea says, took longer for her to find. Lea graduated college in 2005 and dedicated herself to a career as a professional mountain biker. In 2008, she and her sister, Sabra, decided to start a nonprofit organization called Little Bellas, which aimed to get young girls in their home state of Vermont into mountain biking. The program took off and they now have chapters nationwide to introduce girls ages 7 to 13 to the sport they love. Little Bellas is what helped Lea find her most meaningful life. “It’s worthy to go after your goals and see how far you can push yourself, but it’s essentially a very selfish pursuit. It’s all about how fast I can turn the pedals over,” she says. “But helping these young girls become themselves and figure out what they can do, that is what brings me true happiness.” “As an athlete matures, he or she begins to recognize a world that is bigger than just them,” says JasonJason Richardson, a former World Champion and Pan-Am Games gold medalist in BMX racing, who is now a psychologist working with Olympic athletes. “Even the best do not find as much meaning in just performing well in the arena when they become older and wiser. This is not to say that they are no longer competitive. It is to say that winning doesn’t have the same meaning as it did when they were a rookie.” Gaining perspective Cycling, Lea says, has provided her with many life lessons. “I could get wrapped up in all the details and be very narrow focused,” she says. “But sometimes, you have to just step back and look up from the trail and realize how beautiful this place is. You have to take in the bigger picture because there’s always something to be grateful for.” So we can’t all be Olympians, but we can watch them from afar, cheer for them as they take on the hurdles of their competition. We can take a piece of their experience and let it inspire us to live more meaningful lives. “We all should tune into the Olympics because those are the people who are taking risks and putting it all on the line,” says executive coach and author Caroline Miller. “When you see people giving it their best, you become awed and inspired. And when you’re awed, people tend to look up, figuratively and emotionally. It causes people to want to be better than they are already.”
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Anita Alvarez and Mariya Koroleva at the Rio Olympics

Two Swimmers Get in Sync at the Rio Olympics

Leading up to the Games in Brazil, synchronized swimming duet partners Anita Alvarez and Mariya Koroleva often spent 24 hours a day together. They’re in the pool training for long hours, they sleep in the same hotel room, and they have meals side by side. “We start to understand each other and we learn everything about each other,” says Anita, who at age 19 is making her Olympic debut. “It’s important to have that bond and connection not just in the pool but also outside the pool. I can’t imagine going into this intense competition without her there.” “It’s nice to have someone going through the exact same thing as you, especially in the hard times, after a long training day,” adds Mariya, 26, who competed at the 2012 Olympics with a different duet partner and placed 11th. “After you compete together and you have a good score, it’s even more exciting to be able to share it with someone. It’s not just your success.” Studies have shown that athletes who train in groups are more motivated and experience less pain than those who train alone. Plus, they’re happier. “People are happier when they’re training and celebrating their victories with other people. They need a team around them,” Executive coach Caroline Miller says. “It’s not just about getting what you want, it’s about getting what you want and celebrating with someone else.” Mariya, who was born in Russia but moved to the U.S. as a child, underwent back surgery just six months before her last Olympic appearance. She was forced to rush her recovery process in order to compete at the last Olympics and during the Games, she loaded up on pain medication to ease the throbbing in her back. But still, she says, it was worth it for that feeling of walking in the opening ceremony and knowing she had made it. “It’s important to remember nothing that you accomplish that’s great is going to be easy,” Mariya says. “If you’re having a hard time, remember that it’s supposed to be hard. You have to keep pushing through and fighting for what you want. The harder it is, the happier you’re going to be.” “There’s science behind this, too,” says Jason Richardson, a former World Champion and Pan-Am Games gold medalist in BMX racing, who is now a psychologist working with Olympic athletes. “When an athlete suffers injury or great loss and finds victory again, it’s more meaningful,” he says, “because the true win is not just in their sport, but also the internal struggle within themselves.”
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Kayaker Michal Smolen Goes With the Flow

Olympic Kayaker Michal Smolen Goes With the Flow

Elite-level athletes have mastered the art of staying calm in high-stress moments, they’ve learned to find joy even in harshly competitive situations, and they realize they perform their best when they’re at ease and relaxed. Those are skills any of us can develop. Take Michal Smolen, the professional slalom kayaker making his first Olympic appearance in Rio. When Michal slides into the seat of his kayak, the rest of the world disappears. It’s just him and the water, flowing down-river in an endless stream. Maybe his comfort in his boat comes from the fact that he’s been kayaking competitively since he was a kid. Or maybe he’s just figured out how to quiet his mind, even when the pressure is on. “It’s a matter of not letting any expectations affect me,” Michal says. “I have to leave all that behind and just tell myself that I’m doing what makes me happy. If I’m flexible, relaxed and focused, I can cancel out anything that gets in my way.” Psychologists call this “flow state,” and it’s proven to boost performance and mental focus. “In a flow state, you are completely involved in the activity and time starts flying,” says Wendy Suzuki, Ph.D., professor of neural science and psychology at New York University and author of Healthy Brain, Happy Life. “In this state, worry and ego are not engaged, and you can focus totally on the task at hand. Part of being relaxed, at ease, and having fun is finding a way to enter the flow state where focus can be fully directed at the activity.” Michal, 22, lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, where the U.S. National Whitewater Center is located. He would have been a top contender on the U.S. Men’s Kayak Team at the 2012 Olympic Games in London if a citizenship snag hadn’t gotten in the way. Michal moved to America with his family from Poland when he was 10 years old. His father, Rafal Smolen, was a member of the Polish National Kayak Team and is now a coach for the U.S. Olympic team. A life of competition Michal got into kayaking early but soon discovered he had a fear of water, and at 13, he was diagnosed with epilepsy. He put kayaking on hold, sorted out the proper medication to minimize his seizures, and he joined the swim team, hoping to conquer his water anxiety. It worked. “I wanted to be like Michael Phelps—I was very ambitious as a kid,” he says. “I started doing really well at swimming, but it wasn’t bringing me the same enjoyment as kayaking. So I switched back.” By high school, Michal was one of America’s best young slalom kayak racers, getting fourth place at the Junior World Championships at age 16. By 2012, he placed second at the Olympic trials, but he learned too late that his U.S. citizenship papers would take longer than he thought. He was devastated to sit out his first opportunity to compete at the Olympics. Finally, in February 2013, Michal officially became an American citizen. Since then, he’s been focused on this summer’s Olympic Games. In 2014, he won the Under 23 World Championships, the biggest victory of his career. Last year he became the U.S. National Champion and won a bronze medal at the World Championships and gold at the Pan-American Games, setting him up to be a favorite in Rio. Going for the joy He has no idea what to expect from his first Olympic appearance, but he says he plans on keeping a level head and not letting anything get to him. “When I’m racing that most important race of my life, I want to make sure I’m not shaking and sweating and doing all these crazy things before I’m about to go. I want to tell myself, ‘I did everything I could. I’m ready for this. I’m going to enjoy it,’” he says. “That’s what I do this for: I do it for myself and for the joy of it.” Michal has figured out something that scientists and doctors have been studying for years. Studies have shown that athletes with positive psychological states—those who are relaxed, at ease, having fun—physically perform better in competitive settings than those with negative emotions. “If an athlete’s overall sense of wellbeing and happiness is within a suitable range, they tend to perform better based on the fact that their perceived level of stress is reduced and their subjective belief is ‘I’m doing well,’” says Jason Richardson, a former World Champion and Pan-Am Games gold medalist in BMX racing, who is now a psychologist working with Olympic athletes. “Those beliefs become the driving force, as they precede the feelings and actions that ultimately bring results.” You don’t have to be an Olympian to gain something from this lesson: Enjoy yourself and you’ll do better at whatever it is you set out to do.
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